Trust
by RasberryGirl
Summary: CH11: In groups of three, the Animorphs start the first leg of their journey to Virginia. Marco wonders if keeping Cassie's confidence will harm Jake, who feels as if he is definitely missing something. Ax becomes jealous sort of. RT & C meet a new ally.
1. Jake's lament

Trust

When we're all sitting around the warm, quiet fire at dusk, talking, or when everyone is sleeping is when I think of my family.

A mother who, despite all her strange vegan quirks, constantly looked out for my well-being and happiness. Her life had revolved around making my brother, me and my father happy in a subtle way that nearly went unnoticed. Her good spirits came so natural, it was hard to imagine how she was dealing with being a prisoner...that is, if she was alive at all. 

A father that instilled in me values and discipline that could only come from his devotion to his family and to his sense of right. A man who had always believed in the greater good, despite the fact he wasn't a practicing Jew. I wondered what he'd think of me, knowing his youngest son was now a calculating murderer. 

And finally, a barely adult brother who had been condemned for the past four years to the worst kind of torture man has ever known. Tom was a lost cause, I didn't bother dreaming up scenarios of his rescue anymore. I just hoped the end would come sooner than later for him. 

You'd think after three months in this place I'd be okay without them. Or at least be used to the fact we were destined to receive bad news for a long time. But I wasn't. I didn't want to talk about it and made it abundantly clear by being not so nice when it was brought up. And everyone pretty much stayed away from the subject around me, out of concern for their own feelings if not mine. 

Well, almost everyone. 

Some things never changed in that way. 

One day in particular I was on the steep, rocky bluff that overlooked our small camp. The cramped caves we lived in before Toby and the other Hork-Bajir built us more stable wooden huts were located on the inside of a granite mountain wall almost directly below me. 

Right outside them lay a shallow, unlit fire pit we used for cooking and warmth. The crystal blue lake was hidden among dense evergreen forests on the southern tip of the valley. Open fields dominated the central area, with a few scattered fruit bushes and the two black tents we held meetings in sometimes. 

The entire scene was highlighted by a night sky filled with myriads of stars, all giving the impression of glistening white gold speckled above the hazy mountain. It was so beautiful I truly almost forgot about all my troubles. 

Almost. 

A cold breeze blew through the air, bringing me back down to Earth. I sighed, rubbing my palms across my face and through my hair. If we had any chance of coming out of this dumb war alive, I needed to get a grip on reality, even if it meant facing up to my fears. Which, despite that annoying habit of lying to myself, included a girl I had no clue how to handle. 

I heard light footsteps cautiously approaching me. I recognized those footsteps very quickly, but didn't bother turning around to greet them. 

"I had a feeling you'd be here." 

"Well, you were right," I replied to Cassie. 

She shifted her weight back and forth, not really seeming eager to be there, speaking to me right then. 

"We were all wondering where you were, so I decided to come up here and see if you need anything. See if you were hungry." 

If there was one thing I knew about Cassie, it was that she is a terrible liar. Especially when she's trying hard not to be. 

We both knew I was the last thing on the others' minds. They had their own problems to deal with, including a huge one Cassie had created for all of us. 

I couldn't listen to her, so I nodded, my eyes cloudy and stinging, and remained silent. Cassie came closer to me, and I hadn't realized I flinched until after she stepped back again. She sighed tremulously, voice wavering when she spoke up. 

"I know you're still angry with me. I understand-" 

"You'll never understand, at least not anything that has to do with me. I was wrong to think you ever did. Trust that I won't make the same mistake again." 

Cassie didn't say another word for several minutes, not that I would have listened, anyway. I sat in silence while she stood, probably uncomfortably, behind me. The only way I even knew she was still there was from listening to her soft breathing. She spoke only after she realized I was in no rush to revive conversation with her. 

"Oh, Jake. What do you want me to do...what can I do to make things okay between us? Please tell me. I can't stand not knowing if you're okay," she whispered, pain buried in her words. I stubbornly picked at the cold rocky ground beneath me. No way I was gonna fall into the same trap. 

"That's the thing. Sometimes you can't make things okay. You can't make things "better" for me. It's not like I have a paper cut or a bruise. It goes deeper than that," I admitted, a bit lower. 

"As for your question, I don't know. I just don't know anymore. You took that away when you let him go, Cassie."

I hadn't meant for her name to come out like an expletive, but it did, and from the way she failed to reply I knew she heard it too. She sniffed from behind me. 

"What should I tell everyone?" 

"I'll be down in a while." 

"If that's what you want, Jake." 

It was then I finally stood to turn around and face her. It's not some huge revelation that Cassie's a petite girl, yet every time I look at her I'm surprised at how the beauty she holds on the inside and the outside always seems to drown out her size. Even when the only thing I feel towards her is hatred. 

She was shivering a little, her arms were tightly wrapped around herself. It is pretty cold outside, I thought for the first time. 

"Are you sure this is that what you want?" 

The question had more than two possible answers, and because of it Cassie wouldn't even look at me. Her eyes were either closed or downcast by the way her dark lashes rested on her cheeks, and a single tear slowly ran down her face.

If I hadn't been so angry and confused, I might have let myself kiss them gone. 

"It's what I want." 

I turned back towards the serene scene below us. Cassie sighed again before she started back down the trail that led to lower ground. After another short period of silence I finally shed a lone tear, tangible proof of my weakness but something that was getting harder to hold back everyday. I then proceeded to ignore Cassie's wishes and went to bed. 


	2. Her side

Hi readers!

This may seem a bit confusing at first, and the pace kind of slow, but **believe** me, it picks up very quickly in the third chapter on up. And this chapter on out will be in third person, just so you know. 

Neri-I'm gonna spatter some background throughout the fic, but basically this is just occurring during the time they were in the valley. I might and probably will extend the time, and some of the stuff that happened in the books might not in this fic, just so you're sure. :)

Silent Hunter-I'm glad you like it! This is a very old fic, and I was desperate to just post it up already.

Third Reviewer-Gah I'm lazy to look up your name, but thanks for your thoughts! I'm glad you like the story thus far.

Thanks Early for your beta's, sorry I forgot to mention that in the first chapter!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Cassie was a morning person. Or at least, she used to be. 

Back on the farm, she loved waking up and watching the faded pastel colors of early dawn melt into each other, until the sun peeked over the cloudy mountain horizon. It was her time to reflect. Get her thoughts straight for the day. When the weather permitted, she saddled up her favorite mare and rode through their woods for hours, past the quiet brook along the boundaries of the entire farm.

It was small comforts like those that made it even harder to be away from home. They were living day to day, not knowing whether the one approaching would be their last. It was making them all stir crazy.

Cassie knew she basically destroyed any chance they had in winning the war, and that the consequences of her actions only just barely started. 

She smirked to herself.

She imagined Jake was all too ready to say something like that to her.

But that would take actual verbal communication, she mused silently, searching a small sack for some herbal throat drops. Everyone figured his depression was escalated by the blue box incident, although Cassie wondered when exactly it took hold of him. In a way, she was at least partly to blame for not being more attentive to the tell-tale signs over the years.

But he's not a little boy, I'm not his mother and he's not my responsibility, she told herself, realizing the frosty rebuffs the night before were becoming more and more frequent. She didn't regret her decision, she didn't think she did anyway. And it was hard to imagine what he would be like if she let him kill Tom. Cassie was starting to think he couldn't be much worse than he was now.

She sighed and rolled off her mother's quilt onto the cold hard-wood floor. The Hork-Bajir had spent days rebuilding each of their huts for stability, and Cassie couldn't have thanked them enough for it. Nights were cold and they couldn't afford to be sick all the time.

She quickly gathered a few clothes and a clean towel, then headed down to the cool stream to wash, making sure not to intrude on anyone else. After doing so, she returned to the hut and brushed her wet hair, vowing to let up on the self-pity.

Cassie took the medicine before eating half of a slightly bruised banana, then walked the quarter mile to the main camp where she greeted Marco's mom, who was putting up wet clothes on a makeshift clothesline she put together. 

"Good morning, dear," the dark brunette woman said, smiling over her shoulder.

"'Morning, Eva."

Having seen her in person, Cassie couldn't believe how much Marco truly resembled his mother. They had the same eyes, mouth, and hair, but her skin was darker, and she had a soft accent.

"Can you hand me those pins?" she asked. Cassie kneeled down to gather them. 

Eva became their surrogate mother after the rest of the families had been captured weeks before. Her presence was bittersweet, as Marco had only regained his parent after almost everyone else lost theirs.

"Thanks. I was starting to think I was the hired help, especially from the way my lazy mijo complained to me about itchy socks," Eva said wryly. Cassie grinned, handing her the wooden pins one by one.

"I wasn't doing anything else, and you've been washing everyone's clothes for the longest. I'll finish the rest up if you want."

The line hung between two short trees along the water on the other opposite side of the woods, isolated from nearly everything else, including the fire pit where people usually ate. 

The older woman wiped her hands on her shorts and raised her eyebrows, sighing.

"And just as I was about to give up all hope on teenagers," she said, kissing Cassie's left cheek briefly before walking back towards camp. She stared at her retreating form for a moment, slightly worried. The older woman covered it well, but Cassie knew why Eva was always up so early. She barely got any sleep, if any. The years serving as Visser Two's host body supplied enough nightmares to last a lifetime. She made a note to maybe talk to Marco about it.

Cassie fell into a steady rhythm, and as she was adding the last of the garments to the line, she caught a glimpse of a thin girl in the distance. Quickly recognizing Rachel, she waved.

"Laundry? You're braver than I am," was the first thing out of the taller girl's mouth as she approached Cassie. She grinned and sat a few feet away, turning her lovely face up to the rays of the rising sun.

"You look refreshed," Cassie commented, swatting a mosquito from her arm.

Lately Rachel was more mellow, calm, and Cassie thought this was because both her mom and her sisters were safe in the valley with the rest of them. 

Rachel had been shocked when they found them, wandering the streets during their last mission. She thought she'd never see them again, as their house had been virtually destroyed. Along with Eva, who hadn't voluntarily become a part of the war, they were the only real civilians hiding in the valley.

"It feels good to be alive," Rachel said, with only a tiny hint of sarcasm in her voice.

Having more time to spend with Tobias couldn't have hurt either, Cassie thought silently. They weren't as inconspicuous as they hoped. She was just happy that her troubled friend had finally found a little peace. She of all people deserved that.

Glimpses of Jake's lost family crossed her mind again, but Cassie refused to dwell on it. It was too soon; too soon to give up hope for them. She could only pray they and her own parents were

still living. She didn't think anyone else did.

She looked over her shoulder at her, but Rachel only glanced back mysteriously, resting her hands in the slightly overgrown grass and weeds.

"What's the occasion?" Cassie finally asked, pausing her work. 

She just kept grinning enigmatically and crawled over to hand her friend the rest of the wet clothes.

"Nothing, you'll find out soon enough."

Rachel paused.

"Just...happy, you know?"

Not really, Cassie thought darkly. Instead she smiled softly.

"Sure. I'm glad they're safe too. So, um, how is your mom taking everything?"

Rachel pursed her lips and looked at her, then continued a bit slower.

"Mom's in denial. She doesn't want to believe I'm capable of doing half the things I've started to tell her. The thing is, what I have told her isn't even the tip of the iceberg. I'm afraid she might get her own ideas of what this is all about, even try to leave," she admitted.

Cassie raised her eyebrows. Naomi didn't seem like the kind of person who would act on impulse.

Needless to say, she wasn't much like her daughter in that way.

Cassie rubbed her hands dry and picked up the empty basket, then started towards camp with Rachel beside her.

"Are you sure she's not just scared? I mean, it is a lot to take in, but she trusts you. And she would never do anything to put us in danger."

Rachel pushed a lock of flaxen hair behind her ear, and sighed, walking around squirrel running wildly across the ground and towards a cluster of oaks.

"I don't know if trust is the issue with her. I keep trying to put myself in her place, and the more I think of it, the more I believe she thinks I'm crazy."

Cassie frowned.

"For what?"

"For doing this, being here. Mom thought I was in some kind of cult before all of this came out-you know, all those nights and weekends where we'd go on missions for hours? It's hard for her to forget that. And she knows that's not it now, but she still doesn't get why we can't just go to the government with our information," she explained, shielding her eyes from the sun.

"The government's full of Yeerks."

"Yup, but she doesn't want to believe she could've missed something this big."

"Your mom knows how good people can be at pretending. She's a lawyer, right?" Cassie asked, smiling. Rachel glanced at her sideways.

"I swear you've been spending too much time around Marco. Anyway, I just don't think she understands exactly how much power the Yeerks actually have. I'm glad Sara is kinda clueless to the whole thing, she thinks this is a camping trip. But Jordan..." Rachel trailed.

"She is assertive Rach, but she knows where we stand," Cassie told her. 

"Yeah, I guess."

Cassie could tell she wasn't reassured. 

"So what was it you were grinning about a few minutes ago?"

Almost immediately, Rachel's 100 watt smile returned.

"Tobias wants to become human," she said.

"He can," Cassie answered blithely. Rachel gave her a somewhat sarcastic look.

"Yeah, I definitely think Marco's the culprit for your decrease in deduction skills. I meant for good, not just for two hours."

She paused, her bright blue eyes meeting Cassie's darker ones.

"He wants to become human so we can be together."

~~~~~

Please tell me any and all comments, constructive especially! Thanks!


	3. Nothing to hide

Quick warning for all those legions of reviewers *g*-If you are opposed to sex, don't read this chapter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days passed, and Rachel made a special point of hanging around Jordan a little more. She was right in her assumptions. Her little sister had a lot of questions she'd been afraid to ask, but not surprisingly, she took the information in with ease. Almost as if she was expecting to hear a little of it.

Cassie and Jake hadn't seen much of each other, and when they did, there was always another person there. Once Tobias had purposely refused to sit next to Cassie at a meeting, leaving only one space open for Jake. But he insisted on standing during Erek's entire twenty minute briefing, while the other girl left half way through because of exhaustion. Or so she said.

It was early morning and the sun had just risen from over the horizon.

Falling down lightly on the valley like a light coat of golden paint, the air was fresh and the ground was warm. It was well on the way of being a beautiful day, but Jake's mood was so negative it nearly washed over everything in sight. He was sick.

Of all the time's in the world to come down with one of his killer migraines, it had to be a time where he had no access to his prescriptions.

It's just as well, Jake thought as he grimaced, the pain throbbing in his temples mercilessly. At least there's enough peace and quiet in this place to drive a deaf man insane.

He sat up from his bed in the hut and went outside to the stream nearby to get a drink. On his way there, he ran into Cassie, who looked just as bad as he felt. He raised his eyebrows.

"What's your problem?" Jake asked, bending down to fill his cup with the clear water. The girl's eyes were tired as she placed one hand on her throat. Jake stared blankly at Cassie for a few moments, not understanding. Finally she opened her mouth to speak, but only a soft scratchy sound emitted. He immediately regretted the dismissive tone he'd taken.

"You feel like crap too," Jake said rhetorically. Cassie nodded and mimicked Jake's earlier movements by filling her cup with water as well.

She watched him silently, the water easing her inflamed throat. Toby's aromatic tea had helped her get to sleep the night before, but she woke up in some of the worst discomfort she'd experienced.

"I wonder what could have made us both so sick," he thought out loud for no reason, sitting down despite the headache telling him to go back to bed. Cassie sat down a few feet away from him and buried her barefeet in the lush green grass, gently tugging at the individual blades.

"Maybe we're allergic to each other," she replied evenly, albeit softly.

Jake glanced at her sourly.

"What?"

She stared back at him with the dark eyes he had once so admired.

"Don't sound so surprised. Lately you haven't been able to look at me, much less come within ten feet of me. Maybe you're just having reactions to living so close. And maybe you're having the same effect on me," she added, her weak voice breaking from exertion.

Cassie coughed a little and continued to drink the cool water, but the uncharacteristic sarcasm in her tone had planted itself in her expression.

Jake felt the angry words rising up inside of him but, did his best to hold them down. He could hardly believe his ears.

How dare she make complaints over something that started all because of her thoughtlessness? How dare she make it seem as if I was the one acting foolish and stupid.

And how dare she write off my pain as a joke? he silently fumed.

On pure impulse, Jake walked over and snatched the earthen cup from Cassie's hands and threw it in the rushing water. She heard the clay shatter against the moss covered rocks many yards down the stream a few seconds later.

Cassie stood abruptly, her mouth in a cross between an angry and laughing purse. She could hardly believe he had done something so...immature. She could see Rachel doing something like that out of pure spite, possibly Marco, but not Jake. Not the controlled, rational man-child she knew. But then again, she didn't know him anymore.

Pity was something she was all out of, so anger would just have to be the next best thing.

In a burst of bravada, she lunged forward, roughly pushing an unexpecting Jake into the shallow stream. Let him feel how cold he can be, she thought to herself, immediately feeling better.

Jake cursed as he fumbled up into a standing position, drenched from his head all the way down to his feet, now scratched and bleeding a little from some sharp stones. The day was warm, but the shadows of the forests drowned out the sun, and it didn't take long for him to become really cold. He could already feel his lungs beginning to chill.

"You bitch."

Cassie's full lips drew into a smirk and she didn't bother to hide it.

"At least you came out and said it."

For a good few minutes the two angry teenagers just stared at each other, long and hard. Both were pretty sure they couldn't hate the other more than they already did. After all, while one had taken the other's authority, the other had taken their self-respect.

Despite this, neither of them were willing to admit any of those

things, especially the fact that they had both long ago stolen each other's hearts.

Jake made the first move and stepped forward to point his finger in Cassie's face.

"You know what? I hope that felt good, because you'll never get the chance to do that again. I want you to stay the hell away from me. Far, far away," he ordered, fire behind his nearly black eyes. Cassie seized his hand into her smaller one and threw it away from her face.

"Don't tell me what to do, Jake. What gives you the right when you barely acknowledge my existence anymore?" she demanded hoarsely.

Jake laughed, shaking his head.

"What, are you expecting me to cater to YOUR moods, too? No thanks, Cassie. You're not the only one with problems. In fact, we wouldn't even be in the situation if you had thought harder before you ran off and gave away the only advantage we had!"

"I-it-he wasn't supposed to-"

"WHAT? What can you say to me? What could you-"

"Shut up Jake! Just shut up and listen. What else COULD I do? Let you kill Tom, your brother, your own flesh and blood, and wait for everything to be okay? Well, I know that's not what was going to happen.

I know that if you had taken his life it would have been as good as taking your own! And for God's sakes, I couldn't do it, Jake! I couldn't stand there and watch you kill him right before

my eyes, so I did the only thing I could to stop it!" Cassie cried hysterically..

"WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSE TO DO!?!"

The silence after her statements was disturbing, and Jake just gazed at her flushed, beautiful face. What he saw scared him.

All this time he hadn't realized just how honest she had been with him when she told him she was sorry. After awhile, her apologies became less and less sincere.

But could he blame her for that?

She had tried over and over again to explain to him she didn't do it to purposely put them in danger, but instead she wanted to keep him, particularly his sanity, out of harm's way. That was possibly what made him most upset in the first place.

She couldn't just do something on an impulse, based solely on her feelings. That kind of reasoning got people killed, even it came from a good place.

His whole life for the past few years had revolved around keeping everyone, keeping her safe. When she gave away the blue box to Tom she had ultimately sentenced them all to their deaths. And that was something none of them were ready to face.

Finally seeing the truth, with Cassie's eyes unwaveringly locked on his, was too much. Jake turned away to leave when her whisper stopped him in his tracks.

"Don't you walk away from me."

She hesitantly wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his strong back. Jake stayed still, trying to resist her comfort, when he felt her hand thread through his. His resolve died completely. He pulled her completely into the circle of his own arms.

"I-I'm sorry, Cassie. I didn't mean any of those things I said about you, I swear," he said through the tears he'd fought so hard to hold in. He buried his face in her soft neck as his bottled words erupted along with the overwhelming feelings of sorrow, guilt, and loneliness.

Cassie's tears had already mixed with the water drying on his shirt. They slid down to the ground in a weak heap and held each other while they poured the pain out of their souls.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jake let go of Cassie to look her right in the eye.

"I'm a failure, I failed," he said quietly. She sniffed and rubbed his shoulder, shaking her head profusely.

"No, you're not well. There's been so much pressure on all of us, but you've had the most, for the longest. And a lot of that is my fault. I, I just hope you know, now I only want to help you..." 

Jake slowly silenced her with a kiss, gentle and sweet at first but not for long.

It reminded him of the considerable amount of time that had passed without so much of a glance of recognition from either of them, even more the void that festered where their love had been.

Soon they were pressed against each other so closely they both wondered if it were possible to be any closer. Consequently, a shudder ran through Cassie's body as the kiss became so intimate she could feel herself and Jake responding to it, reminding them that, they could.

Jake knew the right thing to do would be to get up and leave, but he didn't. He didn't want to.

Even if that meant he was wrong.

A few minutes more and his t-shirt was gone, Cassie's followed. She could feel his eyelashes brushing against her stomach, then his mouth over and caressing both of her breasts and finally nuzzling her neck while his hands gently but insistently pushed her under him.

"Jake," she whispered in his ear as she bit her lip, "no...please..."

She refused to look him straight in the face, afraid of what kind of expression she might see there.

"Do you mean it?" he said back, with a kiss to her mouth that made them both feel like melting into the grass.

"I...I don't...no." 

She couldn't think about a thing with his hands so intimately touching her. 

"Then trust me. I've got nothing to hide from you."

And, although he would take it back later, he really meant it.

They managed to pull the rest of each other's clothes off without breaking contact, and Cassie gasped as she felt Jake for the first time, about to be with her.

"Jake," she whispered again, and held him tightly. He cradled her in his arms as she wrapped her legs around his tanned back. Soon they were lost in the depths of each other, moving together with the new found grace of lovers, and their cries of pain and pleasure echoed through the forests.


	4. Talk to me

Marco walked down to the fire from over by the caves, where he had just finished helping Eva fold clean clothes. It was a feminine and senseless job, but he had nothing better to do. And after being without his mother for so long, he almost enjoyed it. It really was times like those, even doing something as silly as folding laundry, that reminded him how lonely those years had been without her.

He had just started to melt some marshmallows and chocolate when Rachel came walking up from one of the huts. He sensed her apprehension, and squinted his eyes. Rest assured, tiny hints of worry were written across her features. She took a breath when Marco looked up at her.

"What's up? Clogged pores? Split ends? Dry cuticles?" he asked rotating his stick over the flames. Rachel's expression didn't change.

"I haven't seen Cassie, or Jake for that matter, all day. I've been looking for the past hour

and I can't find them anywhere."

"Maybe they went off somewhere together," Marco suggested.

They looked at each other for a moment, then shook their heads.

"Nah. They wouldn't be together," she told him. He sighed, and sat back on his elbows.

"Yeah...it's still strange. I remember the days when Jake used to obsess over Cassie getting a paper cut. I never thought I'd see the day when they could hardly stand the sight of each other."

Rachel sat down and popped a marshmallow into her mouth, resting her elbows on her knees.

"You can hardly blame him, though. I don't know how I'd react if someone just-I don't know-_stole_ my choice from me like that. Even if they were trying to help me. Jake's never been to good when it comes to his brother," she said.

"Don't think I didn't see you steal my marshmallow, you thief, but I think Jake is probably still in bed," he told Rachel.

"He was pretty much out for the count last night after dinner. He could barely hold his head up. Maybe he's still knocked out from your mom's aspirin."

Rachel frowned and picked at a piece of chocolate.

"Come to think of it Cassie wasn't feeling too well either. She's probably still in bed," she

mused, standing.

"I better go check up on her."

At that moment they both saw Jake approaching them from the north side of the valley, where the dense woods and streams lay. He was barefoot and his hands were massaging his temples. Rachel noticed his shirt looked somewhat damp.

"Where have you been?" she asked him, gazing at his haphazard appearance.

Jake stuffed his hands in his pockets, avoiding her gaze.

"I'm pretty sure that's none of your business," he replied shortly, sitting on another log

lazily. Marco raised an eyebrow and abandoned his burnt marshmallows.

"You sure look rested."

When Jake just stared at him Marco lifted his hands.

"Just kidding, I'm kidding. It was a joke."

Rachel momentarily stopped picking at the food and looked toward the direction Jake came from.

"So, uh, where were you Jake? I noticed you weren't around this morning."

Jake frowned at her.

"Since when are you my surrogate mother? Since when did anything I've ever done matter to you? You have your own life, your whole freaking life ahead of you. So spend it minding your own business."

There was an awkward, disconcerting pause after his words. Rachel appeared as if she wanted to either hug Jake or knock him flat on his face. The marshmallows were all but forgotten as Marco frowned slightly and finally spoke up.

"Jeez Jake, it was just a question. You didn't have to bite her head off."

Rachel just shook her head, keeping her eyes trained on her cousin. She was getting a strange feeling she had just stumbled into something deeper than she meant to.

"It's fine, it's none of my business. But there's something I have to do. Thanks for the snack Marco. Feel better Jake," she said, and walked off towards the woods, blonde hair blowing behind her.

Jake stared after her and ran his hands through his own locks. 

"What's her problem anyway?"

Marco smirked sarcastically, and raised his eyes from the flames to his best friend.

"Funny, I was about to ask the same of you."

~~~~~~~~

"Cassie? You in there?" Rachel called ahead of her. She briskly walked the last few steps to the opening of her friend's hut. She poked her head inside and quickly found Cassie sitting against the wall on the bed, legs drawn up to her chin. The thin quilt was bunched up in her arms, as if she were holding on for dear life. She looked up with dark, glassy eyes.

"What's wrong Rachel?" she asked. Rachel crossed the room to sit next to her.

"Nothing. I was worried when you didn't come to breakfast. I thought maybe you were feeling worse than last night and decided to come see." Cassie smiled a smile that wasn't quite genuine.

"You didn't have to." Rachel's blue eyes darkened as they peered into Cassie's.

"Sure I did. I was worried about you," she repeated. Cassie didn't answer her. She looked down at the quilt in her hands and sighed.

"I'm fine, Rachel. Just fine."

"That's exactly what Jake said."

A tear immediately rolled down Cassie's face. Rachel saw it and tilted Cassie's head to meet her own gaze.

"For God sake's girl, I'm your best friend. You can tell me anything. Trust me," she whispered.

At that Cassie covered her face with her hands, and her body shook with sobs.

"Don't say that. Please don't say that," she cried. Rachel put her hands on

her shoulders and gently shook her.

"Say what? What was it I said? Tell me!"

"I trusted him, Rachel," Cassie cried, flicking tears off her face as fast as they fell,

"I really trusted him."

~~~~~~~~

Marco and Jake were still at the fire, poking at the burning logs as if it were something that took a lot of thought. Neither of them were exactly motivated to revive conversation, yet both felt like there were things that needed to be said.

"I don't understand, Jake. For the longest time you couldn't even talk to her without blowing up. What made you think that would change things?"

Jake sighed and studied the dusty ground around their feet.

"Nothing made me think it would change things. It just happened. It wasn't something I planned on and I know it never crossed Cassie's mind."

"But you wanted it to happen. And you were going to use her guilt to let it happen, if she hadn't run off," Marco surmised, and Jake just picked at the logs. 

Marco was never going to learn that Cassie never ran off, at least from him and she probably wouldn't say anything, either. But when he let himself think about what really had happened, his shoulders slumped with a guilt that hadn't been there before.

"Maybe I was. Maybe I was using her."

Marco shook his head and continued to stir the burning embers.

"Man, I know you've been going through some things lately and I'm sorry for that. But you've never purposely hurt people to make yourself feel better. That's just not you."

He slowly looked at Jake.

"She might not ever have gotten over doing it with a guy who hated her."

"Well she didn't," Jake said, his voice breaking.

"She had the sense to end it before it started. And I don't hate her. I don't know what I feel

anymore."

The lie resounded in his head as Marco shrugged and picked his marshmallow stick back up, daring to grin at his friend.

"But then again, you should be pretty used to getting rejected by now, huh?" he tried lightening the mood. Jake just rubbed his forehead, the migraine from that morning resurfacing, and he managed a weak smile.

"You have no idea."

~~~~~~~~~~

Cassie looked at Rachel knowingly.

"You think I'm disgusting," she finally sighed. Rachel shook her head, rolling her eyes.

"No I don't. I'm just surprised that you and Jake would ever even consider being that...that..."

"Stupid?"

"Not stupid. Just impulsive. Very impulsive." She paused.

"I guess it was kind of inevitable. We all knew Jake couldn't stop caring about you, just like that," she said. Cassie brushed the last bit of moisture from her cheek.

"You think he still loves me?"

Rachel patted Cassie's knee.

"Enough to stop you guys from making a dumb mistake."

"Yeah, I guess so," she answered slowly, trying to control her trembling hands. She hid them under the blanket. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shake the horrible feeling of lying to her best friend off.

Rachel rested her head against the wall and pushed her hair from her forehead, lips pursed.

"You know, I'm kind of surprised at you. Didn't you stop to think you had no condoms, no pills whatsoever? You could have gotten pregnant or something."

She whistled.

"That even sounds crazy. My cousin must be more in tuned to the outside world than I thought," Rachel mused out loud.

Cassie's blood turned to ice water in her veins.

"Yeah. He must be."

~~~~~~

Let me know-R/R! 


	5. Let go

For the next few weeks, things went on as usual. The group, along with Toby and a few other freed Hork-Bajir continued with their plans. None of them could risk unnecessary trips, so Erek was their only real contact with the outside world. He supplied them with information of the progresses and failures of the Yeerk's continued infilration (and junk food for Marco, Rachel, and her sisters) as soon as he got it, but the process was slow and ridiculously tedious, as his sources were becoming harder to contact, plus the risk of his exposure was fatal.

However, progress was made, and really all they could do was wait for the pieces to fall

into place.

Until then, Rachel practically drove herself mad with thoughts of Tobias finally becoming a human nothlit. The last thing she wanted was to force him into a corner, but he was the one to initially bring up the subject of the final battle also being his final morphs several times.

Somewhere between the day they found his father's crashed ship and the present, their puppy love had disappeared. For the first time, Rachel honestly thought her and Tobias might actually be permanent, forever.

Eva's nightmares were beginning to decrease, from a combination of the peace surrounding them and the presence of her precious son. The years of mindless torture had scarred her permanently, but she didn't let them conquer her. She cried happy tears the morning after a full night of uninterrupted slumber.

Jake and Cassie didn't communicate at all, except when they absolutely had to. No one

understood their dynamic anymore. Marco and Rachel could've sworn their friends would be on better terms at that point, especially after they heard about Jake's apology to Cassie and hers to him. But after witnessing the continued passiveness, they realized it would be a long time, if ever, before the relationship ever completely healed.

What they didn't know was, Jake and Cassie's division wasn't born of anger or stubbornness like the first one, but honest confusion.

Jake walked down the rock lined path to the same quiet stream where he and Cassie had destroyed (or cemented, he couldn't figure it which) the very foundation of their already rocky relationship. To make matters worse, she was four or five days late, depending on if things hadn't changed from the last time she spoke to him.

Cassie was resting under a large oak, providing shade from the last rays of the sun in the

evening sky. She looked up when she heard his footsteps, waiting for him to approach.

"Well?" he asked, his heart drilling a hole in his chest.

"It came today," she answered. Relief was permeated throughout her voice and Jake released the breath he'd been holding.

"Thank God."

He slumped against the same tree as Cassie, and closed his eyes.

If it hadn't have, he might as well have served himself up to the Vissers on a silver platter,

with what Rachel would've done to him. Her protectiveness of Cassie was nothing new, especially since their conversation about her and Jake.

Only the two of them knew this was because she was terrified of possibly being pregnant.

He was shook from his thoughts when she spoke up.

"How did this happen?" 

He looked at her quickly.

"I thought you said you weren't-"

"I'm not. I mean, how did we get this way?" she clarified.

"I-I don't know."

"Maybe you do."

"I don't know," he repeated, harsher than he meant, and apologized. 

"We're better when we're not around each other," he said, nearly choking on the hypocrisy of his own statement.

"Why would you say that?" Cassie shifted to look at him, waiting for his response.

Because it hurts when I'm with you, Jake thought, staring at the unshed tears shining in her liquid brown eyes. silently. And it did. The ache in his soul never let him forget what could have been.

There was a time he knew Cassie would have laid down her life for him. He never would've wanted her to, but it hurt the most to know if worse came to worse, he wouldn't hesitate in sacrificing himself to see her okay. Letting go of all their baggage, then making love to her over and over again only intensified his feelings.

But what kind of screwed-up bastard walks away from the best thing in his life?

Me, he answered himself silently.

"We've been through things that made us different, different people. I don't think either of us can help that," he added, glancing at her briefly before looking out over the wooded banks of the lake.

"But why? Why can't we just be like normal people, and learn how to...how to..."

Forgive. The word had struck a fateful chord with Jake the last time she brought it up, and that resulted in something she still didn't fully understand. She couldn't bring herself to regret what happened that day; if she wanted to be completely honest with herself, she hardly even thought of it as a real mistake. How could being with Jake, the boy she still loved beyond reason, ever be wrong?

It hurt more than she expected at first, but the way he felt, the way he kissed her tears, the way he looked at her...like she was beautiful...

For that short time, it was like the Jake she had fallen in love with had come back just for her. 

Then why did he walk away from me again? 

"Let go," she finally forced out. Jake's eyes darkened as he sullenly stared ahead. He almost expected her to say something else, but that didn't make sense. Cassie had moved on, and evidently he was the only one lying about the way he felt. 

"Can you do that?"

Cassie sighed tremulously.

"Not yet," she said.

A few stray tears spilled from her cheeks onto the old sweater she was sitting on.

"But I will."

_______________

Another beautiful, beautiful morning to wake up to.

Groaning from the bright sunlight streaming through the door way of his hut, Jake rose 

from his cramped position on his mattress. He went through his normal morning routine

in a daze, beginning to accept the fact that as long as he let himself be unhappy, he would be. 

He really didn't have to try anymore, after remembering the look in Cassie's eyes the day before.

He had just started towards the main camp when he spotted Tobias soaring high in the warm morning sky. When he raised his hand to shield his eyes he realized he almost didn't have to. His brown hair had flopped down onto his forehead, almost reaching his brow.

"Have we been here that long," he thought out loud. Suddenly a detached voice flooded his mind.

*Hey Jake. I was just heading that way to see if you were awake yet. Ax and Toby wanted to get an earlier start than we originally planned* he explained, flying down off his warm bubble of air.

"Okay."

Jake continued walking, looking to the sky every now and then for his friend. He saw that his flight pattern was a bit odd and even erratic.

"Are you feeling alright, Tobias?"

*Me? Yeah, I'm fine.*

No sooner did the words reach Jake when he faltered and fell a few feet, and in a terrifying instant, Jake watched in horror as Tobias's dead weight completely fell from the sky.

___________

Had Jake arrived to the spot of his descent a second later, Tobias most likely would have

fatally crashed to the ground, but instead ended up with a mild concussion from the impact with Jake's strong arms, Cassie concluded after he woke up and demorphed. She looked more worried than any of them ever saw her.

"So, what's the problem?" Rachel barked. Cassie knew the hostility wasn't directed towards her, and she squeezed her friend's hand briefly before sitting on the large gray stone.

"Our first thought that you may not be getting enough in your diet, just doesn't make sense. The general rodent population has to be almost twice what it is near my house. Two, you could simply be stressed. It's normal for that to make you tired, and considering what we're dealing with, this might be it." 

She fell into silence, chewing her bottom lip.

Rachel stood up from the ground next to Tobias, who hadn't said a word.

"There's something else, isn't there?" she said more than asked. Cassie sighed and looked at Eva, who only nodded slightly. The two had discussed Tobias symptoms together, along with referring to the thick medical tome Erek supplied for them in case anyone got very ill.

"Rachel, Tobias' blacking out didn't come out of nowhere. I noticed his feathers were starting to fall out, and just a few days ago he told me his wings were sore and swollen."

Rachel shot the dark blonde a chastising look. He only pulled her back down next to him. 

"Go on Cassie," Tobias said.

"If it's what we think it is, your hawk morph has cancer, and it's going to kill you."

______________

Shocked, Rachel pulled herself from Tobias' arms and grabbed her stomach; she felt like it had just been kicked in. He just closed his eyes and nodded, also silent.

"I can't believe this," Jake said quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose. They must have really pissed off someone in a past life. There couldn't be a more unlucky group of people on earth.

"Can birds even get cancer?" Jordan interjected from next to Marco. Their close proximity didn't go unnoticed by anyone, but Cassie just answered his question. 

"Cancer can happen to any creature, it's not particular," she said.

The other shrugged her agreement, frowning slightly. Tobias sighed, grabbing Rachel's pallid hand.

"I knew there was something wrong, but I had no idea...Is there any way possible you

could be wrong?" he asked Cassie, almost pleading. But he too knew what her answer would be.

"Okay, I'm not a doctor, but I've seen this before back at the clinic. Even at the Gardens. I'm not certain what triggered it, or even what kind it is, but you have some decisions to make before it's too late."

Marco spoke up.

"Well, can't he just re-acquire a different hawk, a healthy one, and start over?"

They all knew that was impossible, because at that point Tobias's true form was the sick hawk, and there was no way he could change that unless...

"You become a nothlit, Tobias," Cassie said out loud, "you become a human nothlit and your cancer will be gone with your hawk. It's the only way you'll hope to survive," she told him softly. Rachel was slowly beginning to regain her color as she smiled hopefully. 

"I almost forgot about that. You're gonna be okay."

Tobias just scrubbed his face with his hands.

"I need time to think about all this before I do anything."

Rachel glanced at him sharply.

"What the hell are you talking about? Of course you're gonna have to be trapped as a human. What other way is there?"

"I don't want to talk about this right now." 

The others were becoming a bit fidgety at their tone.

"Well, according to Cassie you don't have that much time."

"Then I'll deal with it," he said quietly, and walked away. Rachel immediately started out

after him, but Jake grabbed her arm.

"Just let him alone for a while." 

She glared at her cousin, yanked her arm back, and continued.

Cassie rubbed her forehead, and Eva just patted her on the shoulder.

No one really had anything else to say.

___________

"So that was pretty bad, huh?" Marco said to Cassie, who was picking at a granola bar brunch. 

They were the only two left after Rachel and Tobias stalked off, and Jake went to his hut. The boy was always sleeping nowadays, but he never seemed to eat either. Naomi had already secretly spoken to Erek about somehow getting her nephew some antidepressants.

"I had no idea how to say it," Cassie sighed. She hated being the bearer of the terrible news, even more than confirming her concerns.

"I mean, who am I to tell Tobias he has no hope of surviving if he doesn't give up one of the best things in his life, his freedom? Maybe I was wrong about the cancer anyway,

scaring him and Rachel like that." 

Marco noticed for the first time how tired Cassie sounded. She must still be fighting off a little of her flu or something.

"But probably not. I mean, face it Cassie. You're Earth Mother. Even when you ARE wrong, you end up being right."

Cassie gave him a small, but genuine smile.

"Thanks anyway, Marco," she said, silently thanking whoever was responsible for putting that boy in their messed up group. 

_____________

Thanks Jinako for pointing out the format errors! Stupid HTML! lol


	6. More than life

Thanks for your patience!

~~~~~~~~~

Rachel and Tobias argued for the next three days, and by the end of the week Tobias was

practically hiding from her. He knew she meant well, but Rachel was a hothead. A gorgeous hothead, but a hothead nonetheless. All he wanted was some acceptance, maybe a little time to think. Mostly, he just wanted her to be there for him, no matter what.

"Tobias! Tobias I was just looking for you," Rachel exclaimed, running down a grassy knoll and shielding her eyes to look up at the large hawk soaring in the bright blue sky. His wings adjusted to fly down a few feet onto a branch near the top of an evergreen, and lightly preened a few feathers back into place.

* Is everything alright? Did something happen?* he asked, dropping down on a lower branch. His gaze was focused on the blonde just below him. Rachel grinned quickly and shook her head..

"Well, I got bored to death. Does that count?" she said, wearing a pitiful but comical pout.

"I can't believe I actually got talked into hand-washing not only my own, but other people's clothes. I don't know how Eva does it. It's a wonder her fingers haven't fallen off from pruning."

She glanced disdainfully at her own chipped nails. Marco was right. Before the war, that probably would've been the rarest sight in the world. Other than her washing clothes, that is. But it had given her something to focus on other than her complete inability to help Tobias' situation.

*Rachel, you do realize that other people do this everyday without a second thought? Come on now. I thought you were made of tougher stuff than that,* he lightly teased.

She just glared up at him.

"And what have you done all morning that's been so productive?" she said more to herself than him, perching lazily on a rock, looking like she was posing for some modeling shoot.

Vintage Rachel.

He didn't know why, but he loved her for it.

Tobias watched her expression from above, and at that moment he wished he could smile. Rachel was mostly serious and all about getting the job done, no matter how brutal it might have been, and yet she could hardly stand some simple chores. Just a little more than slightly ironic, considering how they had spent the past four years of their lives.

He dropped to the ground and quickly demorphed while Rachel waited until he became human.

"I thought I'd never find you," she said petulantly when he was done. Tobias gave her a small, apologetic grin. Nothing got past her. He followed her fast paced lead through the woods and to the lake, he presumed from the trail she was taking.

"I doubt you really thought that, but I appreciate the concern. Why did you really want to see me?" he called up ahead.

He thought it would have something to do with his decision on becoming a nothlit or not, and prepared himself for another argument he was bound to lose, but Rachel paused suddenly and ran into Tobias chest. To his surprise, she wrapped her arms around him without a second thought.

"Whatever you decide, I love you more than words. I just thought I'd let you know."

Over the past few years Tobias had grown taller than Rachel, and he reached down to push a lock of soft flaxen hair behind her ear, stroking the skin of her face. Her crystal blue eyes reflected perfectly the statement she made, and for a moment, he pondered the very real possibility of death. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine life without his wings, then no life at all.

He realized that there was no choice to be made really, but being backed against a wall with something so unexpected as cancer...it shook him to his very core. And he could only imagine what his hesitance had done to Rachel, but here she was, holding him silently, accepting him. In so many ways, it made all the difference.

Taking a breath, he pulled her closer, and Rachel buried her face in his chest.

"And I love you more than life. Literally."

______________

Erek had just broken contact with the diminishing network of Chee, when Cassie walked slowly into the black meeting tent. She saw the slightly blank look on his face and figured he was doing just that. A few moments later, the android clicked on his human hologram, and smiled at the girl.

"Cassie."

"Hi Erek. Sorry to interrupt," she said. 

"It's alright...you are a little early for the meeting, though. Is everything okay?" 

She nodded, sitting down in a fold out chair. He sat across from her.

"Yeah." 

She faltered a bit, as if she didn't know exactly how to continue.

"Well, um, I need to ask you a favor about something," she finally said. Erek sensed a more than a little nervous energy radiating from her. He leaned back against his seat, his eyebrows raised.

"Don't tell me: you guys want more chocolate, right?" he asked. He didn't mind the occasional trip out to get junk for them, because he knew they obviously couldn't. But their consumption of it was ridiculous, if not amusing.

Cassie grinned, thinking about Rachel and Jordan's late night s'mores parties. 

"Believe me Erek, I wish it were that simple."

And that I wasn't such an idiot, she thought, wondering where to begin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The first phase of the open-well, partially open invasion is complete," Erek started. The end of his and Cassie's conversation had been interesting, and they were lucky it was finished before anyone else arrived at the tent for their meeting. He looked briefly at the girl, who was quietly taking notes. 

"The next step in the Yeerks' plans are to openly invade and seize all major government offices in the U.S. The only good thing about this, is that other nations are bound to take notice of the sudden changes in the legislature. I have no clue as to how they plan to cover those up abroad, and Ax still thinks they may have more Yeerk settlements out there than we originally thought."

"So what you're saying is, the President, if he isn't already, is going to be infested, along with his entire administration?" Jake asked from beside Rachel, who was listening attentively.

"Basically. And although it's been happening for a few years anyway, the Yeerks purposely waited until they held more control in the lower levels of the system before completely overtaking it," he explained. Rachel stood up and began pacing the short length of the tent.

"That makes sense, Erek, but how are they going to do all of that without making at least a few small mistakes? I mean, they're dealing with the most powerful government in the world. And everyone is already on their toes after September 11. If anyone suspects a thing, it'll be out in the open before they can infest the President's plumber," she finished. Marco snickered.

"That's one way of putting it."

"She's right though," Tobias spoke up. He hadn't yet trapped himself, but it wasn't for lack of trying. He attempted three times to lock himself in human morph, but each time he ended up morphing out at the last minute, even though his hawk was progressively getting weaker. 

"They're not just dealing with the administration and everything, but the FBI, the Secret Service, all of that, right? There's got to be something we can do to tip someone off about this."

"But then what'll happen?" Cassie asked, glancing up from her notepad. 

"If the person or people we tip off go to the wrong people with the information, they'll just be killed or infested. We've got to figure out a way of neutralizing, or at least stalling the Visser's plans before they get that far, and we can't keep depending on Ax for reconnaissance either. It's not safe for him anymore." 

The Andalite had been posing as the governor of North Carolina's accountant since they had been in the valley. He was connected to that man's Yeerk in particular, because his was the one most actively recruiting innocents in Congress, not to mention he was close friends with the head Visser himself. Ax was due back in a week, if he was able to tie up his research in time. 

"There is one way," Marco answered, leaning forward on his elbows. Rachel raised an eyebrow.

"What's that?"

"We get there before they do, nip it in the bud. If the higher branches of the government aren't too far gone, they'll have no choice but to put everything out in the open, if they want to mobilize the military that is," he pointed out. Jake was nodding slowly, but he didn't feel good about the simple nature of the solution.

"But if we're caught, it's over. They know what we look like, how we operate. On some level, they've got to be ready for us to try and do what we're talking about now," he said.

"I don't think there's any alternative," Erek said, sighing.

"Believe me, if I could do it myself, I would. But I have virtually no back up in Washington, and I'm the only liaison you guys have."

"And we love you," Rachel smirked. 

"I wonder why."

He grinned, for the first time.

"But seriously, if we're going to do this, we've got to decide now so I can start planning a route. So are we in agreement?"

The others looked around at each other. Rachel and Marco discreetly nodded, ready to take action after being cooped up for so long. Tobias seemed eager, but reserved. Cassie figured it was because of the nothlit problem, and how he could possibly work around it. And Jake had already decided he was for it.

"I guess this is going to happen, then," he said.

"WHAT'S going to happen?" 

Three heads, one dark and two blonde, poked in from behind the tent entrance.

"Uh, Aunt Naomi. Jordan."

"Mom!" Marco added.

"Here we go," Rachel sighed, slumping in her chair as Cassie patted her on the shoulder, shrugging at the adults and Jordan apologetically.

~~~~~~~

Later on that evening, everyone was lounging around the familiar fire, eating an early dinner. Erek had just finished briefing Eva, Naomi, and to a lesser extent Jordan on what the group had come to a decision on. Naomi was still a bit skeptical at the enormity of it all, and Jordan was quickly understanding her sister's reasons for not telling her about the situation from the beginning, but Eva was the one to actually take in and improve their preliminary plans.

The Chee realized she was proving to be an invaluable asset not only socially, but professionally. She knew things about the Yeerks they had only been able to speculate. He knew he of all people should be thankful she chose to help him, rather than attempt to talk him out of risking her son and his friends' lives. Although in the end, she had forbidden Marco from going to Washington.

Their meal had just started when Rachel frowned. "Where's Sara?"

Naomi looked at her, confused.

"She went to wash her hands with Jordan," she said.

At the sound of her name, the girl glanced up from listening to one of Marco's jokes and looked at her mother.

"Sara? Oh, she said she wasn't hungry and went back to the hut," she explained. 

"You could have let me know that. Maybe her stomach is upset." 

Jordan grimaced, a little guilty. 

"She did seem kind of sick. I figured she'd sleep it off."

The fire crackled softly as Jake stood.

"I'll check on her aunt Naomi, just eat," he said, and left. Everyone continued with the meal, mostly in silence, waiting for Jake's return. When he did fifteen minutes later, the expression on his face told everything.

"She wasn't there. I looked around the brooks and the outskirts of the woods too, but I didn't see her."

Naomi paled slightly, but was calmly nodding. He could practically see the wheels in her head turning.

"Okay, okay, we can't panic. Jake, you go check the cabins again, and I'll go look around the caves. She couldn't have gone far, and if she were anywhere else she would have had to pass us first. She just better hope you find her before I do, she knows better than this," she said, almost talking to herself. 

Rachel went with her mom, and Marco and his mother followed Jake back towards their cabins. 

Jordan glanced at Cassie, who was calmly picking at her plate.

"Well, what should we do?" she asked. Cassie took a deep breath and handed her a bowl of soup.

"Wait to see if your little sister comes back here before anyone else finds her, I guess."

~~~~~~~~

Sara was really scared. She hadn't meant to get lost, but she was so thirsty, and there was no more water in the bottle near her bed. 

She only went to the big stream right outside their for a drink, when she saw the strange deer. 

He was bigger than a regular one and blue too. But she mostly wanted to see him closer because it's eyes were glowing, like green jewels. 

She hadn't been careful when she fell loudly, scaring the pretty blue deer away deeper into the woods. 

Sara tried to tell him to wait, but he didn't listen. So she followed him.

Now, after so long, she felt like she would never find him. 

"Ow!" she cried, as she tripped over a large buried root. She was rubbing the grass and dirt off her skinned elbow when she felt the drops of rain patter against her head. Then she got an even worse feeling in her stomach, looking up and around at the endless, endless trees.

Where am I?

~~~~~~~

You know the drill, R/R please!

P.S. After re-reading Ch. 3 (and knowing what is coming up ahead) I think I need to make it clear, anything that happened between Jake and Cassie was totally consensual. I'm sorry if it was suggested otherwise, it was not my intention to imply that. :) 


	7. Tell me everything 1

Jordan frowned as the first droplets of rain spattered against her bare arms. She looked over at Cassie, who's earlier tranquil expression had turned into one of real worry. She was glancing back and forth between the north and southern sections of the area. 

Finally, she stood.

"This can't be good, Cassie. We should go help them." The older girl set her full bowl on the ground and pitched the bucket of water on the dying fire.

"I was hoping the others would have been back with Sara by now, but obviously they're still looking," Cassie agreed.

"Should we stay together, or try to find them?" Jordan asked. 

"We'll look around nearby. Maybe Sara tripped and sprained her ankle or something on the way here. I'm sure she's alright," Cassie said, emphasizing the last sentence as she glanced at the uneasy girl. She noticed Jordan's disposition was a lot like Rachel's, except Jordan was most definitely the worrier of the family. 

Ever since she suspected her older sister of being in trouble all those years ago, she never really shook the feeling that something huge was going on, right under their noses. 

Right before they started off, Cassie spotted Jake jogging lightly towards them. They met him halfway.

"Is she still missing?" she asked him. He nodded, frowning. 

"This whole situation is too weird. Sara's never done anything like this, not even when she was smaller. Toby and some of the other Hork-Bajir are already looking for her too."

"This is all my fault," Jordan said quietly, a tear running down her face. 

"No it's not. How were you supposed to know all this would happen? Your sister is will be just fine," Cassie reassured her. Jake didn't contradict her, but he knew something must have happened to his little cousin for her to just disappear for so long. He was already afraid of what he might have to face if he did find her.

He looked at Jordan.

"You guys go up to the caves, and tell your mom I'm gonna morph my tiger and try to sense her trail before it gets too dark."

Jordan had already started away when Cassie said, "Wait, I'll go with you." 

"I'll be okay on my own. Just stay here and keep waiting on Sara to come," he said. 

"Do you see the sky, Jake?" 

It was becoming grayer by the second, and the misty rain was slowly giving way to real drops.

"It's going to take longer to find her because the tiger's sense of smell will dampen with the rain, and you know it doesn't have the endurance to get all the way back to camp before the two hour limit. You'll need someone to lead you home," she explained, a touch of concern in her voice.

Jake hesitated. He knew everything she said was probably true, but he didn't want the unnecessary risk that Cassie, although unconsciously, posed. Right now his focus had to be Sara, and if Cassie came along he was almost certain that wouldn't be possible. 

Before he got the chance to speak, Cassie's voice halted him in his tracks.

"I'm sorry, but no matter what you say, I'm coming with you."

She's sounding more like Rachel everyday, Jake thought wryly. 

"Okay, then. Hopefully we can do this before any-"

A startling burst of sound sliced through the hazy air.

"Lightning," he sighed.

~~~~

"What are you doing?" 

Rachel swiped drops of rain off her face as she gazed past Jake's shoulder at Cassie, who had just walked up behind him.

"Helping my best friend find her baby sister," she answered, pulling the sleeves of the windbreaker Eva had given her past her hands.

Rachel rolled her eyes, but not spitefully.

"You know I love you Cassie, but this is completely dangerous. Even for me. If one of those trees gets hit while we're looking around, we could be hurt, or killed," she said.

Almost perfectly on cue, another shimmering bolt illuminated the foggy air around them. 

"I know that, Rach. And I'm not trying to cause trouble. I'm more familiar with navigating outside then either one of you. I grew up on a farm, remember? Now let's go," she said over the muffling storm, starting a slow trot into the dense woods, watery woods. 

Jake had already shed his outer clothing, and was standing barefoot in his morphing suit. He pretty much relinquished himself to the fact Cassie was going to come, and honestly, it shocked him how much she was willing to risk for them. He quickly morphed his tiger, making sure to reign in it's natural instincts before following Rachel and Cassie.

~~~~~~

Twenty minutes later, he'd searched a quarter of the north forests, periodically making his way back to Cassie and Rachel, who were carefully looking around on the ground for anything Sara might have dropped. 

*I'm not picking up anything in this area. Maybe we should head due west, away the lake,* he said to both of them. 

"I don't know," Cassie said, putting her hood up in a move of futility. They were all soaked, and were only getting wetter, which was why she was reluctant to leave. Jake's tiger still had its amazing sense of smell, but only to a certain degree. The rain was dampening it slowly, but surely.

"Are you sure you haven't picked up anything, at all?" Rachel yelled over the thunder, stepping over the slippery broken sticks and brambles. For once in her life, she hadn't been able to avoid mud, as she'd fallen in it moments before. The insistent rain had all but washed it away, though.

*Not really...well, no-wait! I think I've got something!* he spoke in their heads, breaking into a light run. Cassie and Rachel had trouble keeping up, but neither of them complained as they followed the tiger through another small clearing and up a hidden but worn trail. Finally he stopped, whipping his huge striped past the two heavily breathing girls.

*This is too weird.*

"What? What is it, Jake?" Rachel said impatiently. 

"Look Rachel," Cassie said, pointing at the direction of Jake's gaze. She slowly kneeled down to touch a small patch of wet blue fur that had caught on a rotting log. 

*What is Ax doing back?* he thought spoke. 

~~~~~~~

Right then, Rachel heard a tinny voice, coming from just beyond the patch of evergreen they were standing among. 

"Did you hear that?" she said out loud, but Jake had already lept over the fallen log and ran through the thick foliage to the edge of a small ravine. 

At the bottom lie Sara, barefoot and dirty, her arms tightly around her small body.

*Sara! Wait right there,* Jake called. She seemed only slightly frightened by the voice in her head, and her big blue eyes were focused on Cassie and her older sister, who'd thrown down her flashlight and was climbing down.

"Rachel, wait!"

Cassie flicked the rain out of her face as she watched the blond girl lose her grip and slide down to the bottom, slicing her leg on a protruding stone. 

Jake had already begun morphing back to human, but Rachel needed help then. 

Cassie took a breath, and set down her own flashlight.

The last thing Jake saw before his human eyes cleared was Cassie's small hand disappearing into the hole.

~~~~~

"Cassie!"

He peered over the edge and released a shaky breath when he realized she'd purposely gone down there. He quickly calmed down completely, and spotted Rachel crawling over to her sister, who was reaching her arms out toward her. It looked like both of them were hurt. 

"I'm coming, baby! Just wait for me," Rachel was saying over and over, wincing from the mud burning into the deep cut that ripped itself into her shin on the way down . Cassie was able to get there before her, though, and looked Sara over quickly. 

The little girl was obviously shaken and exhausted, but other than some obvious scrapes and bruises she appeared unscathed.

Until, Cassie felt the warm purple lump resting on top of the girl's left ankle.

"It hurts!" she cried, drawing her leg back. Cassie nodded, as Rachel sat beside her, taking her sister into her arms. 

"I know, Sara, but Cassie's gonna help you," Rachel soothed, wrapping her tattered windbreaker around her. The little girl sucked her thumb quietly as she let Cassie gently prod around her foot. She sighed, looking up at Jake, who was now standing beside them, fully human.

"Think you can carry her back to camp?"

"Of course. But not until you and Rachel go on ahead and let the others know we're coming."

Rachel stood up shakily, biting her lip.

"I'm not going anywhere without my sister."

"Rachel, you're hurt and you need to get out of this rain. We'll take care of Sara," Cassie said, eying her friend's ugly wound. 

"I'll just be right ahead of you," was all the other girl said, starting to climb out of the ravine before grabbing her head. 

They all saw she also had a small rivulet of blood running from her forehead as well.

"Rachie!" Sara cried as Rachel started to fall over. Cassie awkwardly caught her before she collapsed.

"No, no, I'm fine, Cassie."

Jake knew the longer they stayed out here, the worse all of them would be, plus they still had no clue where Ax was. His hoof prints were now muddied and practically invisible, leading to nowhere.

"Here, take Sara. I'll stay and get Rachel before to morph out of it before she passes out," he told her. Cassie went over and collected Sara into her arms from him, but she was shaking her head.

"We'll wait for you," she answered, her voice nearly drowned out by the thunder.

"Go on!"

"We need to stay together!

"LISTEN TO ME!" he yelled, and even Rachel was able to force her eyes open at his panicked tone.

"Take Sara back to camp NOW! I can't lose you out here!" 

~~~~~

Cassie blinked, staring into Jake's eyes. She saw enough to know she could not argue with him then.

"You better be right after us, Jake," she said, a little shakily.

"Go on, Cass."

The girl gently hoisted Sara and herself out of the ravine, and with one last glance two of the most important people in her life, she carefully ran back to camp, her tears of both relief and worry mixing with the cold rain.


	8. Tell me everything 2

Quick disclaimer: This chapter is R for sexual content (there's an * at the start of it) and it's not essential to the plot that you read it, so feel free to skip over...but in my honest opinion, it's tasteful and does add emotionally to the story. :) RG

~~~~~~~

I can't lose you out here...

The frantic words ran through Cassie's head over and over again as she ran into her hut. Freezing and fragrant of sweet pine, she almost felt like she was still outside.

She had no clue how she was able to make it all the way to the caves in a thunderstorm, with a scared seven-year old in her arms talking about a _blue deer,_ no less. But the look of pure relief Naomi's face was more than worth it...even though Cassie's own relief deteriorated a little more, every time she thought of the desperation on Jake's face. 

He was just worried about Sara, and Rachel. Nothing more, nothing less, Cassie told herself. 

__

Nothing more.

Taking deep calming breaths, she peeled off her soaked jacket, tank top and cut-offs, throwing them in a corner, and reached for the large navy button-down shirt lying underneath her bed stand. She practically swam in it, but all her clothes had been left out on the laundry line, which was probably tumbling around somewhere near Canada, considering how massively the storm had grown since that evening. 

It almost felt unreal how quickly the light rainfall turned into a living nightmare, nearly claiming little Sara. 

She was just happy they'd found her alive, but the ordeal had been draining. Physically and especially mentally. It didn't help that they still had no clue where Ax was, or if he was the actual owner of the Andalite fur in the woods. 

Cassie was startled from her thoughts by the sound of a steady leak, coming from the thickly thatched roofing overhead.

"Wonderful."

She grabbed an earthen bowl from the floor and positioned it to catch the droplets of water, then sat back on her haunches. She sighed. They must've spent days reinforcing those roofs for bad weather. 

She got on the bed, bringing her brush with her. Her hair was drenched, the water nearly weighing her curls straight. She unknotted the strands carefully, trying to ignore the horrible wailing of the wind coming from outside.

Finally Cassie settled back on the comforter, exhausted but not sleepy. She was still worried for her best friend-and Jake. 

Why does he always feel like he has to do everything by himself?

She curled into a ball and drifted into a mild, reluctant sleep.

An hour later, the rain was still falling, but it was gentle and almost peaceful. Cassie stirred when she sensed a presence next to her. She slowly rose and blinked twice, her brown eyes clearing and finally focusing. After an awkward moment's hesitation, she leaned forward to hug her visitor.

"What are you doing here?"

"I didn't mean for you to wake up. I just...wanted to see you, I guess," Jake said, his dark hazel eyes reflecting the slightly embarrassed smile he gave her.

"Or maybe I didn't know what to do when my favorite shirt was missing."

Cassie looked down and peered at the sleeves of his shirt, which extended way past her hands, a small smile on her own lips.

"Eva mixed this up in my clean clothes the other day. And I had nothing else to wear," she explained.

Jake shrugged.

"That shirt's too small anyway." 

Cassie's soft smile melted from her face, scrutinizing him. She figured he must've changed after dropping Rachel off at the caves, after noticing his clothes were relatively dry. 

"Listen...you really scared me back there. Anything could have happened to you and Rachel. She's okay, right?"

"She was mad we made such a fuss over her," he answered, and Cassie just shook her head. Rachel and Jake were certainly alike, in a lot of ways. 

"I can relate to her. I can't stand that you think of me as a burden, that I can't take care of myself," she admitted quietly.

In a move that surprised them both, Jake gently pulled her to him.

"That's not it. I never saw you as a burden, I just saw you in danger. If it was my choice, I would've brought Sara back alone. You saw how Rachel nearly got herself killed because she was too emotional," he pointed out, even though Cassie was shaking her against his shoulder.

"You know you couldn't stop her from going."

You couldn't stop me either, she almost said. Instead she bit her lip, a hint of embarrassment in her own face.

"And I wasn't about to let you face that situation alone, as pathetic as that sounds."

"If you are, then so am I."

"The important thing is Sara is safe," she told Jake, and he buried his face against her cheek. Cassie smoothed the dark locks from his damp forehead and closed her eyes, breathing in his rainy scent.

Jake's heart jumped a little. Maybe... 

"And so are you, Cass."

__

So are you.

In an instant, she burst his euphoria.

"I really hate you sometimes, Jake." 

~~~~~~~~~

"What?" 

She pulled away from him. Her face was flushed, but more sad than angry. 

"One minute you won't talk to me, and the next you're holding me, saying all these things...like you mean it..."

He was genuinely confused. He'd been careful to tread lightly with Cassie, ever since their last real conversation almost two months ago. The last thing he wanted to do was cause her anymore pain. 

Evidently, he'd failed at that. 

"I honestly don't understand. I just, I thought we could be friends again," he said quietly. The last bit of anger left her eyes, but her body was completely rigid.

"Then why can't you _always_ be my friend, like this? Why can't you _always_ tell me what you're feeling? 

"Don't you know how much it hurts when you close me off?"

Cassie was afraid if she said another word she'd burst out crying, so she fell silent, leaving only the faint plip, plip of rain into the bowl to fill the quiet.

Jake swallowed, looking down at the quilt, and then at her. 

Here goes nothing.

"I have been closing you off," he began. 

"But God, Cassie, you don't understand...everything is different now. I can't even think straight when I'm around you, because I cannot stop thinking ABOUT you. Ever since that day...I've done everything wrong. Until now. I mean, what kind of a person keeps putting a knife through one of his closest friends, then waits around to see how much she'll empathize with everything he's going through? I won't do that. Even if it kills me."

He hadn't expected Cassie to actually take in what he was saying without stopping him. In fact, he'd half expected her to tell him to go to hell, and he wouldn't have blamed her a bit.

Instead, she was brushing moisture from his face he hadn't yet realized was there.

"I'm not innocent either, you know. I let you sink. For a long time, before we ever came to this valley. But I won't, not anymore. Even if it kills ME."

Cassie almost seemed to be speaking to herself, but her warm hands caressing him told him that wasn't so.

"Tell me everything, Jake," she demanded softly, her gaze steady in his.

"Everything."

~~~~~~~~

Jake closed his eyes. This was too much. If she had any clue how he really felt...

There's nothing to lose, Jake. Not a thing.

"I wondered if we'd ever get our friendship back again, sometimes," he spoke up, almost inaudibly. 

"Marco's my best friend, and he always will be. I can't think of a time we weren't there for each other, even when we disagreed about something. And it may not have seemed like it," he added, smiling, "but we argued about a lot more than just Spiderman vs. Batman. No matter what we said or did, at the end of the day, we were brothers."

Cassie couldn't help but smile herself. She knew how he felt, because she felt the same way about Rachel. 

He went on.

"But with you, it's...different. We're not best friends, because it just doesn't describe it...I don't think I can even put it in words right. The thing is, all I ever seem to do now is hurt you. More than I ever hurt anyone in my life. And it's just so stupid, because you've never done a thing to deserve any of it, except try to save me.

"There's only so much you can take from a person, Cassie, before you start to give up. I know I've put you through a lot, and I'll never blame you for wanting to give up." 

She wrapped her arms around him, a gesture of silent reassurance.

"You were right when you said I'm not well. My aunt even thinks I need medication. But I don't feel like this is something I can just control with some pills, Cass. It-it's starting to be who I am. As much as I hate it, I can't stop it. Then sometimes I don't just feel like it's me, but MORE than me. Something bigger, stronger. And I'm tired of trying to fight it. I'm just so tired," his low voice broke with tears, and Cassie turned to face him. She kissed his forehead, then his eyes, telling herself not to trivialize the situation with false promises.

"I can't fix this for you, I can't even say I understand what you're going through. But it doesn't mean I won't try."

He stared into her gentle eyes, and wished she could envelop him in the peace he saw there. And as she laced her fingers through his, he realized she already was.

"I meant what I said a while ago, Jake, I'm going to help you through this. Thank you for giving me that chance. I might not always act like it, but I care about you. I care about you so much, it scares me," she admitted, her warm breath caressing him like another sweet kiss.

Cassie didn't really expect him to say anything at all to her, and now that he had, she almost couldn't believe how much Jake really had been dealing with. Painful demons had been haunting them, especially him, long before the blue box situation. Now, all that was left for her was an inkling of doubt, which was soon abated by Jake.

"I feel the same way, Cassie. I mean it. I used to think I could never forgive you for what happened with Tom, but I was so wrong. I may not ever agree with what you did, but I'll never blame you for what happens because of it, and I'll never hold it against you again. I swear."

Cassie was so soft, peaceful, and she was holding him so close. He'd missed everything about her...

Jake knew that the last thoughts on her mind were sexual, and until that point his weren't either, but he couldn't help but want to be closer to her again, in every way. 

At the same time, he didn't want to fall into a destructive pattern, and he seriously didn't want to ruin the slowly growing trust they messed up months ago. 

He slowly disengaged himself from her, and stood up from the bed.

"Where are you going?"

"I can't stay. Marco and his mom don't know I made it back okay. Thanks Cass, for everything," he said before walking towards the open door way of the cabin.

"Don't thank me yet."

~~~~~~~

Her chocolate brown eyes were bright but still a bit tired, yet the look on her face was wide awake.

Jake wanted to turn away from it and keep walking, and nearly did so before she left the quilt on top he comforter and padded over to him. She smiled softly before reaching up to plant kisses along his jaw line, when she cradled his head in her hands to kiss him squarely on his mouth.

Cassie blushed as he claimed the kiss as his own, his tongue gently exploring her mouth, his soft lips leaving hers tender and swollen. She had missed this.

"Cassie," he murmured faintly, almost to remind himself he wasn't dreaming.

"Jake," she whispered, her hand playing with the soft hairs of his neck, "that tickles."

He lifted his lips from her throat to give her his beautiful slow smile.

"Sorry," he said, and before she could say another word he closed his mouth over hers once more. Cassie pressed into him until it became too much to bear.

"Seriously, I've got to go."

"Why?

"I want what's best for you," Jake answered honestly.

"He's here," Cassie answered, her forehead pressed against his chest.

Jake took her face into his hands, trying to memorize the way her dewy smooth skin felt and how her luminous eyes shone in the moonlight. Every time he felt like he was suffocating, like he was dying in the dark hollows of his mind, he knew he would think of the look on her face, right then.

"Okay."

He still felt some residual guilt about the first time they slept together. He never should've pushed her to be with him, despite the fact she was the one to reach out in the first place.

In a way, Jake almost felt as if Cassie was his weakness, as well as strength. His attraction to her would probably never wane as much as he hoped it would, and he still hadn't figured out if that was a good or a bad thing, in terms of wanting to be a better friend to her.

Cassie smiled a little up at him and placed her hands on his shoulders, practically reading his mind.

*"I'm happy you're here, Jake, but only you know what you want."

He gently outlined her face with the pad of his thumb, bringing a sigh from her as he trailed it over her lips. He kneeled between legs after she backed up to sit on the bed, sliding his own hands under her shirt and over her full breasts, down her stomach, and softly kissed her there.

"That was never the question, Cassie."

She felt a rush of raw emotion come over her, and a slow tear spilled over her eyelid. She remembered how amazing he was capable of making her feel, but she never expected to experience such a tangible vulnerability. 

He looked up at her, his eyes nearly black, when she stroked his cheek.

"For me, either."

She slid her shirt off completely, as he silently admired the beauty waiting for him.

"Cassie..."

She held in her breath and closed her eyes as Jake nearly killed her with pleasure. Every touch held a thousand sensations, all of them bringing back memories, good and bad...hopefully, from now on, every memory she made with Jake would be a beautiful one.

"Open your eyes," he said and she smiled but kept her eyes closed when she held his head in her hands to kiss him.

Jake threaded one of his hands through hers as he joined her on the bed. He said something inaudible as she moved her hands to the waist of his cargo shorts and boxers, and lifted his body off hers only to aid in her removal of the only thing between them. She kissed him so sweetly, it almost sent him over the edge.

Jake brushed her hair away from her forehead, staring at her calm face as he settled between her legs.

"You've got to promise not to hate me tomorrow," he said, only slightly joking.

She shook her head, her hands on his face, her gaze mirrored in his.

"Only if you're the first thing I see when I wake up." 

Her eyes glazed over as his hands went to her hips, when he completely entered her, and they kissed.

"Promise," he said against her lips, as they slowly began moving together, now oblivious to the rainy night outside.

~~~~

Let me know, thanx!


	9. What comes next

Quick disclaimer: You all have been more than patient, and I sincerely thank you! What can I say.._.life_.

This chapter is also the beginning of the second arc of this story, which, because of your wonderful support, is going to be longer than I ever expected. :) RG

~~~~~~~~

"You're so blonde, you put lipstick on your forehead when you want to make up your mind."

"And yet I'm still not the one who has to write "Hooked on Phonics" under the education part of a job application."

"You're so blonde, you thought a quarterback was a refund."

"Was this before or after you sold your car for gas money?"

Marco only grinned, minding to step around the muddy patches of grass. The rains the night before left the valley wet, muddy, and surprisingly sunny. That in itself was a blessing-otherwise, Tobias might not ever have spotted Ax resting near one of the small springs buried in the woods earlier that morning. After making sure he was unhurt (including not infested), they agreed to talk with him after he and Erek had a chance to discuss in detail what was going on out east.

Until then, Marco had no problem in allowing himself the guilty pleasure of needling Jordan, a small habit that'd grown into a slight obsession.

"You're so blonde, you ask for price checks at the dollar store."

Jordan rolled her eyes, unable to keep her own lips from turning up.

"Probably better than going to Taco Bell to pay the phone bill. Come on Marco. Is this the best you can do?"

She thought his face would crack from smiling so hard as he leered at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Well, you're so blond, you studied all night for a blood test...and failed."

Silence resounded in the air as Jordan sputtered. She definitely hadn't seen that one coming!

"What? Need some more lipstick???" Marco offered, reaching in his pockets as she smirked.

"Ha!" she mumbled. Jordan had been positive the boy would be out of blonde jokes by the time she whipped out the phone bill crack. Unfortunately, it seemed he was more persistent, and witty, and _funny_ than she thought

Not that it was a bad thing...

Jordan was just about to ask what he might be doing with a tube of lipstick when she spotted Cassie approaching them. 

"Hi," she said in greeting after Marco smiled in Cassie's direction. 

"Hey Cassie, you just missed Jordan's ultimate smackdown. I'm surprised she's still alive-but then again, it IS hard to be brain dead if one doesn't possess a brain...you know. Being a blonde and all."

Cassie stifled a laugh as Jordan poked a finger in his ribs. 

"So what's up?"

"Ax is ready to talk to everyone about North Carolina and D.C.," she replied, "but I've got to warn you...he might not be in the mood for jokes." 

To Cassie, the Andalite hadn't seemed overly despondent or fatigued, despite getting lost in the woods outside their camp the night before. The fact he was able to remember exactly where they were hiding said a lot in itself. But it was also clear he wasn't looking forward to disclosing what was going on.

"Got it. I just hope he isn't _too_ serious. I mean please. This is the same guy who binged on cigarette butts and gasoline fumes. Hmm...gas fumes... " He fondly thought of the Shell station across the street from his house. How could something so deadly smell so good?

"Uh, anyway. I can sit in on the meeting, right Cassie? I won't interrupt or anything," Jordan said, and Cassie shrugged. 

"I don't see why not." Suddenly, she smiled.

"That is, if you are a glutton for punishment and want to be around Marco a little while longer."

He threw his arm around Jordan and cheesed at the older girl.

"Don't hate, Cassie. We all know Jordan's a glutton for punishment...AND hot guys." 

Although silently glowing, Jordan easily removed herself from Marco's grasp and gave him a skeptical look. 

"And apparently, delusional boys," she finished, causing Cassie to glance at Marco.

"Spoken like a true "blonde" Berenson, huh?" 

She continued to lead the way to the meeting tents, where the others were waiting.

~~~~~~~

Despite her promise not to interfere, Erek thought it was best Jordan not be a part of the briefing. It wasn't so much he was afraid she would cause a distraction, but they all knew the teenager was too much like her older sister to sit idly while the rest of them spoke. Jordan finally relented when Naomi convinced her it would be better to help her watch Sara, who was still asleep, and make sure she stayed comfortable and warm.

Jake waited until Marco and Cassie sat down before looking to the head of the table.

"Go ahead, Ax." 

The Andalite-now human-smiled at him.

"Yes, Prince Jake."

He took another sip of the steaming cocoa in his hands before speaking. 

"Well, as you all know, I was positioned in Raleigh for five of your months." 

Cassie grinned inwardly. She'd kind of missed his absent Andalite detachment. 

"During this period, I was able to gather a complete listing of human hosts currently serving in the U.S. House of Representatives. This allowed me to observe any significant change in their political standpoints. After some time, it became obvious these individuals are slowly, but surely beginning to push for changes in privacy laws," he surmised.

"Nice job, Ax," Jake interrupted him momentarily. 

"You always suspected they would go this route." 

Ax nodded, slightly surprised but pleased he remembered his conjecture all those months ago. 

"Thank you, Prince Jake."

He took a big bite of cinnamon toast while waiting for their questions.

"Do you have an idea which laws in particular they're concerned with-public, personal, professional? I bet they have no clue how much of a Pandora's box they could be opening with this, asshats," Marco smirked. 

Rachel just stared across the table at him.   


"YOU have no clue how smart you just sounded." 

"You're not too dumb either, plus, hello! Your mom's a corporate lawyer. You guys both know how much legal crap chemical-research companies can get boggled down with from other companies because of privacy laws. My dad could practically smell a lawsuit every time they released a new product."

"Now that we know Marco's secretly a geek," Tobias spoke up, causing a little laughter and one sardonic grin, "maybe you could clarify, Ax."

"Unfortunately, I was unable to obtain specifics without risking my anonymity, or at least, my non-suspicious status regarding Senator Delaney," he replied, refilling his cup from one of the mugs Eva made especially for him.

"I thought he was a governor," Rachel mused, pausing her dictation. 

"That was my mistake," Erek volunteered. 

"I guess even androids are human sometimes." The girl glanced at him sideways.

"Either way, it sounds like this guy is really involved, not to mention powerful. Just how much damage has he caused?" Jake asked.

"Too much," Ax answered immediately, his large hazel eyes speaking for themselves.

"Erek was able to send me the name of the Chee who replaced a recently deceased Senator. One of the two from Louisiana, I believe. Through working with her and further investigations on my own, I found that approximately 45% of the Senate has been infested. Voluntarily or otherwise."

~~~~~~~~~

Everyone sat up a bit straighter at the number. Forty-five percent? None of them expected to hear that high of a count. It made them all the more grateful to Ax, who had unequivocally went above and beyond by remaining in such hostile territory for the sake of their freedom.

Cassie's face darkened as she settled back in her chair, deflated.

"Half of the President's cabinet are controllers? That _is _way too many. I can hardly comprehend that," she echoed everyone's thoughts. 

"I wasn't sure about the number until last week, and it's also why my consequent return was unexpected. Delaney probably hasn't even gone through all my resignation papers yet. Hopefully he never suspected the legitimacy of my credentials," he said, knowing they all understood the difference could mean whether or not their valley would stay undetected.

Rachel frowned, folding her arms.

"Something tells me this isn't it. Is it," she said rhetorically, and sighed. Even she was beginning to realize this wasn't something they could rush head on, especially since the general summary of the situation was so overwhelming.

"Correct, but it is not all dire. In addition to what I've told you, I was able to locate where the Yeerks are keeping their newest Kandrona," he disclosed. The hopelessness quickly drained from the tent, as a slight breeze simultaneously blew in from outside.

For the first time that day, Jake actually seemed optimistic. 

"This is it...this has to be the break we were waiting for."

Ax felt a subtle relief at his statement. Erek told him earlier Jake wasn't doing well, hadn't even pretended he cared about what happened to himself or anyone else. Luckily, it seemed his leader was starting to regain some of the balance he'd lost since coming to the Hork-Bajir valley.

And although it simply could've been his over-analytic nature, Ax noticed Jake and Cassie were discreetly holding hands under the table throughout the entire meeting. 

"How in the world did they let something like that slip?" Tobias wondered out loud, pushing a lock of dark blond hair from his forehead. He didn't want to think the worst, but there still was a chance their "break" could be a well-orchestrated set up.

"Hey, no one ever said those Yeerks weren't some cocky mofos," Marco quipped, tapping a pencil against a used up Post-it Note pad.

"It sounds just like them to cover every little clue except the most important thing of all. I bet there was some kind of paper trail, or something?"

"Actually, yes," Ax said, and motioned for Erek to pass a sheaf of papers around the table, starting with Jake, who carefully flipped through them.

"Those are the financial records of two start-up Yeerk-infested companies, both located on the eastern shores of Virginia. Obviously, the Senator of North Carolina had no business possessing such detailed transactions if it wasn't something beyond his host's job. I eventually traced their, that is, the Virginia entrepreneurs' source of capital back to a large settlement of Yeerks, located in Myrtle Beach."

"And it's where the Kandrona is," Jake finished, his dark eyes electric with excitement.

"We can't get ahead of ourselves," Cassie spoke up, "at least, not with the way Erek is looking all guilty over there."

Everyone's attention drew to the android, who sheepishly grinned.

"What can I say...I was never good at hiding my emotions. You all have every right to be hopeful about this, but you've got to understand going there wouldn't come without some very heavy risks," he began, eying Cassie in particular. She smiled ruefully and said, "No different from any other mission we've done. As dangerous as it'll be, we just can't afford to let this chance slip."

"That's the spirit," Rachel said, happy that even her usually cautious friend saw the opportunity for them to really do some damage. 

Erek sighed, pulling his chair closer to the table. 

"For the past few weeks, I've been going over travel routes that would be both direct and inconspicuous. Unfortunately, I've just about ruled out private transportation, like cars or vans or anything, and flying is out of the question. Lucky for us, though, there are several other options."

"Uh, "lucky"? You only forgot to mention our fugitive status," Rachel put in unspitefully.

"Ax has that covered. All you guys need to do is agree to what we've planned," he said. Tobias glanced at Rachel, who despite her recent quip looked like she would agree to just about anything.

"It all sounds okay so far. It won't kill us to ride a bus for a few days, right?"

Marco tensed at Erek's silence.

"Just come out with it, man." 

"Look, you all know I'm not the dramatic type. I wouldn't be hesitating like this if I really thought there was nothing to worry about. But, the thing is-you guys wouldn't be together."

~~~~~~~~~ 

Cassie frowned slightly, subconsciously stroking Jake's palm with her thumb.

"Well...okay. You mean we can't act like we're in a group, like we know each other," she said, knowing full well from the expression on Ax's face that wasn't the case.

"Erek is being quite literal, I'm afraid. Travel will be safer this way, Cassie."

Tobias glanced confusedly at Ax, who was staring down at his empty cup.

"But Ax, if something had happened to you in Raleigh, there isn't a thing we could've done to stop it. If we split up...how can we protect each other if we're not together? Why risk it?" he asked, thinking of Rachel's recklessness. He would kill himself before he let anything happen to her, but she was her own person. She didn't think straight sometimes, and everyone knew it was only him and Cassie who could truly make her listen. Because of it, he could only hope they used the same reasoning.

"We have no choice. The Yeerks know our main group consists of six-five of them humans. It wouldn't be as much of a problem to remain anonymous if we travel by threes," Erek explained, and took it a step further.

"And Tobias, I do realize the added risk in having you all go in two separate groups. But you have to trust that Ax and I have taken into consideration the strengths and weaknesses of each of you, and how each person complements the other," he said, and Ax nodded.

"I think you guys might have forgotten my mom forbid me from leaving the camp," Marco spoke up.

"She said as much before you even came back, Ax."

"She doesn't have a choice but to agree. Otherwise, Prince Jake and I would be short one person," Ax replied. Jake sat up straight.

"Excuse me. Are you saying we have no say in who goes with who?"

Erek had no choice but to say yes.

"It might not seem like it, but we really have thought about this is. A lot more than you know, actually. For instance, Ax will only answer to you, Jake, and Marco's tactical sense-although slightly skewed-will balance your logical."

Everything he said did make sense, but Jake was still reluctant.

"It won't work," he said stubbornly.

"Jake's right," Rachel spoke up on his behalf.

"I'm just gonna come out and say it. I'd love it if Cassie were with me and Tobias, but frankly, her and Jake need some time together. This is the perfect opportunity for them to work out their issues," she said bluntly.

"It's okay, Rachel," Cassie replied suddenly.

"Erek is right. This is about logic, how we fit together. I understand." 

Jake just looked at her.

"Well, some people fit together in ways _beyond_ logic. And you know what I'm talking about."

No one knew what to say to that, least of all Cassie, who couldn't stop the blush from rising in her cheeks.

"We need to talk," Jake mumbled, and abruptly left the tent with Cassie right behind him. 

Ax coughed, a human trait he'd picked up that was perfect for awkward moments.

"If you'd all excuse us, I'd like a moment with my shorm," he said. Tobias looked around and nodded, standing from his chair.

"We can talk down by the fire." The uncle and nephew departed soon after.

"And I need to check up on Sara. She's probably been awake for awhile now," Rachel sauntered over to the zipped down entrance, and gave Marco and Erek a Look.

"Eva said she was going down to west end of the lake to start washing some blankets. Let's hope she's in a good mood." 

Then she left. 

Erek sighed again, gathering the various scattered papers and documents. 

"Technically this meeting isn't over, but she's right. I guess we better catch your mom and convince her to let you go," he told Marco, who rolled his eyes.

"It'll be the day a teenage robot will convince my mom to do ANYTHING, least of all travel across the country. But hey. I'm always up for a good laugh." 

~~~~~~~

There will be a mass reader response in the reviews that will hopefully answer your questions, to this point. 

Thanks again!


	10. What happened was

"The art of frolis," Ax began, "is a delicate, inimitable one. It cannot be compared to anything tangible, it cannot be rationalized or predicted upon. No two are the same, even if the same subjects are used to draw the combined DNA from. It has been impossible to master, and is thought universally by Andalites to remain so."

"Does this mean even Cassie wouldn't be able to morph the perfect cross between Halle Berry and Jessica Simpson?"

"Shut up Marco," both Rachel and Cassie said at the same time.

They were sitting next to each other indian-style right outside the black tent the three days before everyone was set to leave for Washington. For the past week, all they and the rest of the people in the valley had done was finalize plans on exactly how they would get there, and that included everyone learning how to frolis maneuver. It was the only way they could efficiently disguise themselves in public, and was a lot safer than relying solely on discreet travel routes.

"You know, I'd be offended, if that double-team thing hadn't sounded so cool," Marco mumbled from his perch on a stump. Erek had managed to convince Eva to let him go, after some careful prodding and many reassurances. In the end, it came down to her trust in the son she inwardly knew was no longer a child.

"Go on Ax," Jake encouraged.

Ax began, "Frolis maneuvers are a two-step process. As you know, the first step is to acquire the separate sets of DNA from the donors you wish to combine. The amount of donors you can utilize for one frolis is theoretically infinite, but numbers that large are not nearly necessary for most purposes," he said, and added with an adorable blush, "my personal limit is five, as you can see."

Everyone smiled at that, even Tobias, who was only watching the demonstration out of curiosity. The Animorphs were depending on sky blue contacts and a continuously shaved head to be enough to conceal Tobias' appearance. Past that, there was not much they could do.

"For demonstration's sake, why don't you have someone try it now," Tobias suggested, and Jake nodded his agreement.

"Any volunteers?" he asked. A few moments passed before Cassie realized everyone's gaze had gradually turned on her. The girl shrugged and stood.

"Well, why not?" she couldn't help but grin, excited despite herself. She'd always been curious about trying a frolis maneuver, but never really had an excuse to do so until now.

She shed her outer clothing until she was down to her morphing suit.

"Why don't you start off with using only two donor sets of DNA," Ax suggested, and Cassie complied, first reaching down to acquire Rachel but remembering she already had the girl's morph, then walked over to the other side of the firepit to press her fingers lightly against Marco's cheek.

"I couldn't pass up an opportunity so inviting," Cassie said to Jake, Tobias, Ax and Marco's highly amused expressions, while Rachel just glared.

"Very funny, Cass."

After a few moments, Cassie lifted her hand from Marco's face and said, "Ready."

A warm, gentle breeze blew around them as Ax slowly coached Cassie through her first frolis.

"Concentrate first on the two of them separately. Make the image of them in your head as far apart as you possibly can." This was not to hard for Cassie. It wasn't too far of a stretch to imagine Rachel and Marco on two opposite sides of anything.

"Okay," she said faintly, in deep concentration.

"Now focus on superimposing the two separate images onto each other. See them combining, melting, fusing-"

Who knew this would be so raunchy-sounding...I like it! Marco thought to himself with a tiny grin.

As if Rachel were reading his mind, she simultaneously mouthed the word "Never" in his direction.

"This is harder than I thought, but I think I've got it,"Cassie said faintly, but not breaking her concentration.

Ax went on, softer.

"Don't force your imagination to create a picture of what you want, but let your subconscious control the power of your morphing from here on out."

For the next few moments, everyone focused on Cassie's face, which had taken on the appearance of a deep sleep. In fact, Jake started to ask her if she was okay when he noticed her skin was slowly, but surely lightening. It was changing from a milk chocolate tone to a light olive, a color perfectly between Marco's and Rachel's. Her nose became slightly more aquiline as her mouth almost imperceptibly became less full, while her face lost most of its heart shape for a more oval one.

They watched in awe as her dark curls grew out several inches to a straighter, almond brown with honey highlights. The last of the changes occurred in her stature and body shape, as she now stood about two inches taller with a slightly smaller bustline and narrower hips.

When Cassie finally opened her eyes, which had not changed at all in size, they found them no longer midnight brown, but a spectacular light hazel, with flecks of blue and even a bit of gold in the afternoon sun.

Rachel was speechless, and Jake, Ax, and Tobias grinned.

All Marco could think of was how sick he was to be so attracted to something that was essentially half of him. He glanced at Rachel, who still couldn't believe a cross between herself and Marco could turn out so well.

"Well? How did I do?" Cassie finally asked, with a voice that was no longer her own.

"So, what did you think?" Tobias asked Rachel as they walked towards their cabins for the last time before they would take off later on. Despite the fact him and Rachel would be spending so much time together within the next two weeks, he never (well, almost never) tired of being around the girl.

She looked up at him out of the corner of her eye.

"You probably think this is funny, and well...it kind of is. I never thought I'd see anything like that. I mean, basically Cassie's morph is what could happen if Marco and I ever had a kid. NOT that that would happen," she added at Tobias' somewhat agitated look. She poked him in the ribs and said, "Green's not a good look for you."

"Probably not."

The two fell into silence as they walked along the forest line, still about a quarter of a mile from the cabins.

Uncomfortable with the odd vibe now between them, Rachel ran her fingers over his bare arm.

"I wasn't serious, Tobias." He sighed, running a hand through his dark blonde hair.

"Rachel, I know you weren't serious. I just got to thinking about some things, that's all," he assured her, taking her hand into his. Now she was really curious.

"Like what things?"

He opened his mouth to speak before closing it, and instead looked at the grass covered ground in front of them as they strolled. Finally, he came to a stop.

"Like, um, the future. Our future, maybe."

"Go on."

Rachel slowly smiled, as Tobias' piercing but somehow still gentle gaze slowly traveled to hers.

"You know, I never really had a family. I had people who felt responsible for me, for my health and safety, but only because they thought they had to. I'm not saying I don't appreciate what my aunt and uncle did for me, but past that, I learned not to expect much when it came to making real connections to anyone. And I also learned to live with it. But after these past months, years...sometimes I think about what I could have...with you...."

"It scares you, doesn't it?" Rachel knew exactly what he was trying to say, because in a different way she felt the same. He let go of her hand to continue walking.

"More than anything, Rach. Because the way I feel about you, that's something I've never had before, and don't think I could lose."

The cabins were in view before they knew it, but instead of breaking away so Rachel could say goodbye to her mother and sisters, the two held each other close, both knowing that things would probably progress between them a lot sooner than either ever imagined.

"You're not gonna lose anything else, Tobias. Not if I have anything to say about it."

At that moment, Naomi poked her head outside and witnessed the tangibly emotional scene between the pensive blonde boy and her daughter. Frowning, she realized she had a lot more than Rachel's physical safety to worry about.

If it's not one thing...

While Rachel's mother was finally coming to the realization her oldest daughter truly was no longer a child, Marco's was strangely quiet as she went about her every day laundry tasks. In fact, Marco could've sworned by then he'd be knee-deep in another "the importance of sound judgment" lecture from her in the last few hours before their departure.

"No offense, Ma, but you're kind of disappointing me right now. I was all ready to take notes and everything," he said as he watched her fold and unfold the same pair of socks five times.

Eva glanced at him sharply, but said nothing, continuing her repetitive, futile movements.

The quiet air around them, along with majestic scenery was driving him crazy, especially when he could practically feel how horrible his mother must feeling about him leaving.

Before he could say anything else, Eva suddenly spoke up.

"There are things that need to be said, Marco. Many things..." she said to herself, finally placing her still hands in her lap, looking at her son, who grinned goofily.

"I knew you wouldn't let me down!"

Instead of rolling her eyes like she usually did at his smart mouth, she sighed.

"Mi hijo," Eva began softly, "this is not a joke. I'm about to share with you something I've never told, never wanted to tell. But you deserve to know, and in some ways, maybe you will understand my present feelings better."

Sobered, Marco focused his complete attention on his mother, whose eyes were already welling. He frowned-something was really up. She'd always erred more on the protective side of mothering, but he'd never witnessed firsthand a more serious air about her, not even after she was freed from Visser Two.

"Whatever it is, I can handle it," he assured her. Instead of answering, she just nodded, glancing down at her lap before looking at her son once more. This time, she smiled a little.

"You're such a strong boy. I'm proud of you." He blushed slightly, waiting for her to continue.

"Years ago, when you were much younger, your father and I spoke of having more children. We loved you more than we ever thought possible, and as time went by we realized one of the best things we could do for you was give you a brother or sister."

At this point, Marco still had no idea where her story was going. He wasn't too surprised by Eva's words, however, so he failed to ask the preliminary questions that were already swimming around his head. He let her continue.

"But getting pregnant the second time was harder. Of course, my age was part of the factor in that, so we visited a fertility specialist. Fortunately, it did not take long for the hormone cycles to work. I got the phone call confirming my pregnancy the day before your eleventh birthday, Marco," she told him, the tears she'd suppressed now coursing down her cheeks freely. She was crying not only from the remembrance of the joy she felt that day, but the sorrow she knew still plagued her son and husband.

Eva didn't need to fill in the next part of the story for her son, as he picked up with haunted words, "You drowned, mom. That was the same day you died."

Eva nodded silently, grabbing her son's shaking hands. For a few moments, the two sat in silence, anything that could have been said out loud would have done nothing to lessen the impact of what had already been said. Finally, Eva spoke up.

"Earlier that day, I'd went to your father's work to tell him the news in person. When he learned of the child, he was so very happy he nearly talked me into taking you out of school to tell you the news as well. Of course, I convinced him it could wait until after you birthday, so you could feel like an only child one more time before becoming a big brother. He agreed, and kissed me goodbye, and that was the last time I ever saw him again." By this time, her words were becoming shaky, but she pressed on.

"After I was captured, the first thing I remembered after waking up was a horrible feeling of invasion...my body was no longer my own. Before I could even begin to understand what was happening to me, the emptiness here-" Eva's hands were now firmly pressed against her abdomen "overwhelmed everything else. It was worse than anything, including the paralysis I also felt. I didn't even hope it to be untrue, I knew my child was gone from me. I knew that whoever had taken me had also taken my baby."

Eva and Marco were now embracing each other, all attempts at being strong for each other completely shattered. He couldn't believe his mother had carried such a terrible secret by herself for so long, it was no wonder her nights were plagued with nightmares.

"Jesus," was all Marco could get out. All he could do was hold her, as he focused all his strength on not thinking about how hard the days following his mother's death had been. And with a sickening realization, Marco thought, Dad didn't just lose his wife, but his kid, too.

When Eva finally let Marco go, he said, "I won't go if you don't want me to." Before he could get the words out, Eva was shaking her head.

"I didn't say this to you to guilt you into staying here with me. Just as you now know what I've told you, I also understand your duty. All I wanted for you was to understand that I refuse to lose my son, my first baby, that you must come back to me."

She had regained some of her composure, and her last words were infused with the familiar determination Marco had witnessed all his life from her, as her beautiful cocoa eyes reflected in his identical ones.

"Take care of yourself, mi hijo, and bring yourself and all of your friends back to me safely."

After his mother left to rest for a little while, Marco decided to try and find Erek and see if there was any way possible he could stay with his mother for at least a couple more days. On his way towards the meeting tents, he saw Cassie sitting against her own hut, far down across the lower part of the fields. Even though he'd just left a pretty emotional confrontation, he got the distinct feeling that was just the beginning.

He walked the several yards down to Cassie, who was staring intently at something concealed by her hands. She jumped at the shadow Marco's body suddenly made over her, and quickly righted herself.

"Hey Marco," she said with a shaky smile, an image that was highly contradictory and not at all the girl he knew.

Instead of replying right away, he just sat down beside her and waited for her to say what he knew had to be coming.

"So...was it positive?" he broke the silence Cassie wasn't willing to. She frowned at him.

"What did you just say?"

"I know what a pregnancy test looks like, Cassie. But it was a nice try." The girl just sighed and turned her head away from him, resting it on her knees.

"This is so messed up. I mean, I had some suspicions months ago, but when I got my period, I just didn't think it was possible...this shouldn't be possible. It just can't be," she whispered, giving him her answer.

Marco, although he didn't show it, was shocked. What were the odds of two bombs dropping in one day?

And they hadn't even left the valley yet.

Never in a million years did he think Cassie (or Jake, for that matter) would let something like this happen. He wasn't that surprised they were having sex, but he thought for sure they'd be more careful, all circumstances considered.

"Are you gonna have it?" he finally asked. Cassie turned her head back to look at him, her eyes blank but watery.

"I don't know," she murmured. She rubbed her fingers across the dust on the ground between them. "But you have to promise me you won't tell Jake, alright? It's really important to me."

"What?"

Cassie sighed again, trying to find the words.

"Just think about it Marco. Think about what kind of distraction that would be for him. It's also not fair to everyone else. We all have to focus on getting to North Carolina safely and fast, too. You shouldn't dwell on this. I'm not going to, either," she admitted.

Marco never thought he'd see the day Cassie would come off so nonchalant about a living creature, her own kid, no less. Between the conversation he'd just had with his mother and this one, he truly felt like he was in the twilight zone.

"Are you sure you can do that?" he couldn't help but ask. The girl pondered silently before answering, her face practically an open book to all the thoughts that were going through her mind.

"Honestly, yes," she spoke up, stronger. "If there's one thing I've learned in these past few months, there's no point in getting worked up over circumstances I can't change. For now, I can't change this one, and no one can know about it. Please, Marco?"

For the second time in just a matter of hours, he felt a great deal of conflict. On one hand, it was Cassie's right whether or not to inform Jake of their situation, even at the expense of her own mental well-being. On the other, Jake had a right to know about his potential child- period. Either way, people would get hurt. But in the end, he agreed that Cassie's reasons were the best not only for her and Jake, but for the entire group.

"Okay, I won't say anything. But please answer one question," he added, pulling the girl into the warm embrace he knew she needed.

"Yeah?"

"How could you even think about getting it on with a boy like Jake when you've got a man like me lighting up your life?"

Cassie stared at his serious expression for a few seconds, then burst out laughing. For that short time, she felt exactly like she did when her life was normal, when the only problems she had extended no further than the boundaries of her beautiful farm and an embarrassing crush on her best friend's cousin.

A/N: I apologize for the wait, and to any readers-don't hesitate to ask me any questions if you are confused about anything! Thanks for reading.


	11. What lies ahead

Quick disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to any songs, the rights to any TV shows, or the man by the name of Wentworth Miller (although I wish I did…more on that later. :)Thanks for reading.

----------------

"And I--eee---I! Got a feelin' that I could be someone, be someone, be someone…don't you just love Tracy Chapman, Jake? I know I wish I had a fast car right now. Maybe a cherry-redEscalade with platinum rims. A state of the art sub-woofer in the back. A couple DVD screens for our viewing pleasure would be good, too."

Marco shook his head, sighing.

"Man, I am telling you…we could've been riding in style right now. This whole train thing sucks. And I don't care what anyone says--Erek was so holding out on us."

While Jake was busy staring out the windows and brooding, Marco was stubbornly trying his best to fill the quiet of the empty train car with his one-sided conversation. It was probably the only downside to the fact that they had such a large amount of privacy for refreshing their frolis maneuvers (that, and the semi-edible grade of the passenger meals.)

Even Ax had taken notice of his leader's thoughtful demeanor. Over the past two and a half days, the Andalite had engaged him in random question regarding the changes in physical geography from the suburbs of Northern California to the dry Arizona deserts. It didn't always work, as Jake admitted to not being the most attentive student, but it was enough to keep him from completely retreating into his mind.

Looking at his friend again, Marco had a fleeting, frightening thought:

What if Cassie had given in and decided to tell him about after all?

To be honest, he almost preferred that. Not only would it make him feel less guilty about keeping that kind of a secret, it would also be a relief to know Cassie wasn't dealing with her pregnancy all on her own. He was fairly certain she wouldn't tell Tobias or even Rachel, _especially_ Rachel, for fear of throwing off their focus. Which brought him back to the present situation…

The question was on the tip of his tongue when Marco realized that if Jake truly did know, there was probably a less than zero chance he would've let Cassie leave the valley, much less without him, before coming to some kind of resolution first.

Even if that meant neither one of them would've left at all.

However, the quiet boy did give the hint of a smile when he replied, "It's a relief to see that looking completely different hasn't changed your ability to be totally obnoxious."

Marco couldn't hide the relief from his grin. _If Jake is well enough to rag on me, he'll be okay._

On the heels of Cassie's frolis of him and Rachel, Marco had not been able to quell his growing curiosity of how a cross between Rachel and Cassie might turn out, and asked if he could create a male version of just that as his disguise for the journey to Virginia.

While Cassie had simply frowned at the suggestion, Rachel had been ready to engage in some serious fisticuffs.

"I swear Marco, if you value your life at all you will get as far away from me as humanly possible… immediately."

He'd been discouraged at first, and was ready to settle on a boring mix of himself and Jake when, at the last minute, a brilliant suggestion from his new favorite Berenson made his heart sing.

"…I don't mind if you acquire me."

Marco was pretty sure he'd never heard anything hotter escape the lips of such a beautiful girl, much less the girl he knew was perverted enough to understand the purposeful double entendre of that statement….

It was then he knew: Jordan really was his soul mate.

"I may be obnoxious, but you cannot deny that I am also damn pretty. Come on, even Ax is jealous!" Marco insisted, although the alien--in his own eerily pretty human morph--was steadily scarfing both his and Jake's plates of beef (or rather, beef-like) burgundy.

Ax paused for a moment, with a smear of gravy next to his perfect mouth to add, "Jealousy is a quaint human emotion which is merely a mask for feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. Ee-yore. Itee. Ority. Ore-it-eee"

Jake just rolled his eyes. With his cupid's bow lips, sapphire blue eyes, and short, dark curls, he personally thought Marco's morph of Cassie and Jordan looked a little too much like that actor from _Prison Break_.

A gaggle of hysterical women (and a few men) had even swarmed around him at the train station in Yuma, begging for autographs, pictures, and a host of less innocent favors as well. He was not looking forward to a replay of that scene, although it was inevitable since their next stop was going to be at a much bigger city.

Oh well. Better that than being caught by a bunch of controllers. Although it does cut awfully close…

"Ignore him, Ax. Apparently his ego knows no bounds," Jake commented with a real smile this time. One, strangely, that was somehow a composite of both Rachel and Tobias.

Unlike Marco, he had not gone to any great length to accrue the "hottest" frolis. Although it had idly crossed both of their minds that while Cassie's could easily be Marco and Rachel's daughter, Jake's was no doubt what the son of Tobias and Rachel would look like--tall and wiry thin, with wild, dirty blonde hair, deeply blue, slightly sad eyes, and a flawless complexion. Kind of weird to see, all of them agreed on that.

Almost like a glimpse into a could-be future.

Marco just smirked and replaced the head phones plugged into the train car's complimentary CD deck back over his ears.

"Jealousy, my friend, is never attractive…." he trailed, and began humming to a song that sounded like nothing remotely worth listening to.

Ax had polished off the rest of his food, and in true satisfied form, was now lightly dozing with his head propped against the half-way curtained windows. He too was wearing a pair of headphones.

Now silent again, the slight sway of the car on the tracks began to lull Jake to sleep as well. It was only around 7 P.M, and darkness had yet to completely fall against the still-life backdrop of the calm desert, but he let himself succumb to the dream that in reality, was the last moments he had shared with Cassie before leaving her and the others in the valley days ago…

--------------------------

I was in the same spot I'd been several months before, on the steep bluff overlooking our small camp. An odd kind of familiarity had settled over it; so much had happened here, it was no longer just a place to hide. Now more than ever, our refuge had started to feel like home.

Things really have changed, I thought to myself, holding Cassie's hand tighter in mine.

She was next to me, her breathing slow and even as she watched the pitch black sky's glimmering stars. She'd sat there nearly an hour ago, and hadn't said a word since her arrival.

I didn't mind. Sometimes it was almost like we understood each other better when nothing was said at all.

"I felt the same you did, Jake."

Cassie's soft statement startled me. She waited until I looked at her before continuing.

"About how you didn't want us to be split up. I think I understand Erek and Ax's reasons for doing it, but it doesn't mean I'm happy about it," she said, giving me a half-hearted smile.

"Anyway, I just wanted you to know that."

How she knew I'd been wondering about exactly that, I'd never know. I didn't ask.

Cassie wrapped her arms around her knees after I wrapped one around her entire body. She was still shivering.

"They were right, I guess. But don't tell them I said that. I can't keep up the whole reluctant leader thing if they realize I'm agreeing with their twisted ideas."

I smiled, and a beautiful one blossomed on Cassie's face. She rested her head against my shoulder.

"Your secret's safe with me," she quietly confirmed, seeming to reflect on her own words before looking back out at dark, mountainous expanse against the horizon.

"I still wish some things had turned out differently, though."

After a long pause, she replied, "Me too."

A strange feeling struck me, as I watched the profile of her face. Her smooth, dark cheek held the reflection of a solitary tear, and she leaned into me when I kissed her forehead.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay. We're going to get through this."

For a moment, Cassie's expression fell into one of clear uncertainty. Almost as if there were something she needed to say to me…

She was scared, that had to be it. We all were. Maybe no one said it out loud, but that didn't mean it was easy. If it were something else, anything else, I was sure she'd tell me. I trusted her with my life, and I hoped she felt the same.

The night was still cold, but I could feel her warm body completely relax against mine as the last of her chills subsided.

"Yes, we will."

----------------------------

"Excuse me."

The bored front desk attendant glanced up from his computer screen into the tired face of a thin, brown-eyed teenage girl. Her raven hair was pulled into a ponytail on top of her head, spilling thick waves onto the top of her bare, sun-burned shoulders.

She was flanked by two equally worn-looking companions, although the girl beside her was unusually beautiful. The only male, who was skinny and tall with closely cropped dirty blonde hair, held three small overnight bags slung over his shoulder.

The attendant minimized his solitaire game on the flat screen monitor and re-opened the hotel's reservation page.

"Welcome to Red Canyon Inn. How may I help you?"

"We've got a pre-paid reservation here for two rooms," the black haired girl replied, trying to ignore the inflamed skin of her freckled arms. She couldn't believe she had forgotten how prone Sara's fair skin was to blistering, and was now regretting the decision to save money by walking there all the way from the Greyhound station instead of taking a cab.

"Name?"

The attendant whose metallic name tag read "Michael" retrieved the short internet reservation list.

"King," the boy spoke up, stepping forward to offer up an out-of-state driver's license that said something completely different.

"Erek King."

Raising an eyebrow, Michael's full attention was on the intense young man in front of him, who was now just patiently waiting.

"And what might bring you and your friends here?"

Without a second's hesitation, the tan girl with blue-hazel eyes smiled at the Chee named Michael.

"Freedom."

------------------

This chapter was a necessary filler, and I am pleased to say that the next one is written, quite long, and will definitely be dedicated to those who love Rachel/Tobias. :)

I would also like to sincerely thank everyone who has reviewed and supported this story. I want to let you guys know that I never had any intention of abandoning this…between school and my job it can sometimes be hard to find the time to update, and I'm sure most, if not all of you can relate to that.

However, your input truly does affect the direction this fic takes, and I don't like to update if my writing is not up to standard, so please don't hold back on the criticism! Peace :)


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